SmackyGirl

I bet you are all busy flying about getting everything ready for Christmas. So no one got time to read this anyway. Haha. Anyway I just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. I am doing okey considering. I`m doing a lot better then many of the other patients who get the exact treatment as I do. But I am very strong physically and mentally. I`v been through a lot in my 34 years living. I always find a way if something is difficult. It`s not easy to bring Smacky down. The life that I have had has made me strong. And when it comes to what I am dealing with now I think that is an advantage. 

I am currently having chemotherapy ones a week and radiotherapy 5 days a week. I`m not feeling my greatest, I got to admit that. But I haven`t been sick so that`s good.

But I get it. Chemotherapy messes with your mental health. It makes me very emotional. But other than that I have been doing just fine. I`m on my second round with chemotherapy. They have warned me that things might change after 4 or 5. But I figured I just have to wait and see when I get there. Then deal with it then. 

(Completed 7 of 36 Radiotherapy treatments)

(What it looks like when I have radiotherapy. I lay there everyday for about 5 to 8 minutes. One part of the machine takes x-rays, and the other is where the radiotherapy is given. Its a red laser. I can`t feel it or see it while I am under it. I don`t feel it before after a few hours. Your skinn gets red glowing, irritated and I have to use a lot of lotion, and I`m not allowed to wear too much clothes. I also sometimes get very warm after radiotherapy. Like from the inside. Specially in the throat. Feels like a hearth burn.)

(What it looks like when I have chemotherapy, there are 3×1000 milliliters (ml) of saltwater, and later when I have finished them they bring another 1000 ml of saltwater pluss a red bag which is the chemotherapy 1000 ml. Its a bit painful to the arm when I get it. And you have to go to the bathroom every 15 minute. I feel drunk couple of days after getting it. And very emotional. This treatment takes about 3 to 6 hours)

But they have seen progress on the pictures they take every morning when I go to have my radiotherapy. So if it goes the right way and the tumor shrinks when I am finished on 2nd of February, I hope that I can get my operation quickly and then maybe some time begin to hope that I will be clear of the cancer. That`s my wish for Christmas.

And along with spending time with my family and my friends of course. We have many traditions that I love. I will try and post some pictures of our Norwegian Christmas later. We haven`t got any snow yet. So you can only imagine what crisis that is for Norwegians. It makes the main news if we don`t have a white Christmas. Some people say they won`t get into proper Christmas spirit without it. We are so used to having snow that it make debates if we don`t get it. Specially around Christmas. Norway is a quiet and peaceful country living in a bubble, modern and rich, not much really happens here. So yes, we do make a big deal out of not getting any snow for Christmas, tragically enough haha. Today I`m stressing about delivering Christmas presents around to my friends so I am glad its not snowing. 

Tomorrow I`m spending my day with the lady who lives next door to me. She has her boyfriend from Germany visiting her. You know I had German in High School but I can`t remember much really lol. I have never liked the language, I think its horrible and harsh. But I`ll give it a go for Udo. 

On Christmas Eve , I am spending my time with my family. We usually change between being at my mums and my sister every other year. So this year we are celebrating it at my sisters home. I got some party invites later this holiday that I might consider joining. 

To all my readers 

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday.

x Smacky x

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