livmorhalskreft | SmackyGirl

Staying The Fuck Home in Norway: Day 34

April 16th, 2020

SmackyGirl

Since the 12th of March Norway has been on a lock down. School, universities, colleges, kindergartens, hair saloons, tattoo shops, spa & beauty and massage studios and most shops that doesn`t sell groceries or medicine have closed. Restaurants, cafè`s, nightclubs and bars had to close too. Take away and home delivery of fast food is okey. Sport activity was limited to individual exercise only. Groups of more than 5 people is not allowed. It is not allowed to travel to your second homes or cottages. Also Concerts, festivals, Eurovision, theaters, cinemas and the bingo is even cancelled too. We are advised to listen to Norwegian music and by food produced here in Norway.

The shops do not want us to pay with cash anymore when we buy something in a psychical shop. All food stores have placed hand disinfectant by the entrance of every store that is open, which the costumers use before going inside to do their food shopping. There are stickers on the floor reminding you to keep a distance to a minimum 1 meter. The groceries shops have put up a plexi glass between the costumer and the person working behind the cash registers. The public transport has blocked the first 4 front seat, and we can only board the bus from the middle and the back door. And also they will no longer allow us to pay for our bus ticket with cash. You have to buy a ticket either by using the App, buy a sms ticket or get a period card. On the plus side the bus driver opens the door for us now though. So we don`t have to use our hands to push the door opener button ourselves. The routes have changed to the Saturday route as there is almost no people outside or using the public transport. On board the buses the screens are telling us to:

Be Considerate
Beyond this, we add here to the National Institute of Health’s recommendations and orders, and encourage our travelers to do the same, and be considerate to your fellow passengers and the drivers:

Practice social distancing, make sure to keep a safe distance to other passengers
Do not board if you see that the place is cramped, wait for the next bus
If you have been in contact with the infection or are ill, do not use public transport
Wash your hands frequently and thoroughly
Walk or use a bike if you can
Travel outside rush hour if you can

We have closed the boarders and anyone entering Norway will have to go into quarantine for 2 weeks. If people don`t stay in their homes if they are in quarantine. The fines begins at 20.000 Kr and can be up to 40.000 Kr. We are told to forget about going abroad on a summer vacation this summer, and instead travel around and discover our own country this year. I had booked my summer holiday back to Nice to visit the French-Twinks Studio again. When Norway locked down the country I asked Antoine what he wanted me to do. Wait or cancel. We agreed to await it a little bit. But as time goes it is not looking promising for my planned trip to the French Riviera in June. I have also tried to book an appointment at the police station to renew my passport which is expiring on June the 6 th. But they have cancelled my appointment 4 times since March. So I will have to stay in Norway for the summer it seems and see if I can go visit Antoine and the studio in maybe August or September if the world is better by then. I am worried about the guys in France, they are badly hit by this horrible virus. 17.164 people have died France. I hope Antoine and the guys are staying safe and healthy.

Churches can`t preform ceremonies, baptism, the coming of age ceremony or weddings. But funerals they can do. But we are not allowed to attend any funerals to say goodbye to our family or friend that have died because of this horrible pest called Corona. The churches and funeral services are offering family and friends to watch the live streaming of the funeral from home, on their computers, iPads or phones.

433.000 people have registered as unemployed in Norway since the 12 th of March. 5,3 million people live in this country.. In 2019 February the number of unemployed people in Norway was 71.100 (Source: nettavisen). Small and medium sized businesses and big companies such as Norwegian Airlines are struggling to survive. The government has given billions to help save businesses.

In the writing moment 6686 people have caught the Corona virus and 150 people have passed away because of Covid – 19 in Norway. World wide 1,981000 humans are infected with the same virus and 126.600 people have perished because of it.

I also keep finding new articles about animals that also have tested positive for this pandemic. I asked a veterinarian clinic on Facebook, if pets also can catch this virus from humans, because I was worried about my Oliver of course.. I asked this question on different days and the answer was no twice. The second time I asked, was after I had read about a cat in Belgium who had tested positive for Covid 19.. These are the same veterinarians working at AniCura Veterinarian Clinic at Heimdal in Trondheim, where Oliver and me has been visiting twice.

The cat I read about had developed symptoms such as diarrhea, throwing up and having breathing problems. It did not say if the cat made it or not. And VG.no who wrote about the cat, did not update the article when several including me asked if the cat survived or died. I have also after that read a headline about a dog who had caught the virus too. But I did not click and read further about this case, and I can not remember on what site I saw it.

I found this article in VG.no which is saying that they don`t think humans can give their cat the Corona virus, but they recommend that we keep our cats inside. Because they can carry the virus with them on their fur. Also they are saying that we should avoid touching and cuddling our cat. Luckily Oliver does not seek out other people when he outside, he is terrified of strangers. I was more worried that someone could give him the virus so he became sick. I can`t quite settled down with the different things I read if animals can catch it or not. Because I know they are testing vaccines on mice. Which means they have infected these mice with the Covid 19 virus. To try and test if a vaccine kills it. So if the mouse can get it, then I think it is possible that other animals also can. Specially thinking about monkeys, and I worry about them. They are our closest relatives..

PLEASE DO NOT PET OTHER PEOPLES CATS THAT YOU MET OUTSIDE

Many of our care and nursing homes for the elderly people have tragically lost 1 or more of their residents. because visitors and staff have brought the virus with them and infected others. On March the 10th, a large group (147) of elderly people was told it was still safe to travel to Alicante and Spain. To stay at a resort called Solgården. At the time Norwegian government advised Norwegians only to not travel to Italy, Iran, Austria and China. At least 53 people who traveled to this Spanish resort has tested positive for the Corona virus and so far 5 people have died. According to VG.no. One man died while he was still there, and his family are still awaiting for his urn to be sent home to Norway. Spain has decided to cremate people who has died from this virus.

174.060 people have tested positive in Spain, and 18.255 human lives have been lost. Spain is now the second most affected country by the Corona virus in the world after USA. I had a friend of mine that went to Spain in the beginning of March.. And I was seriously worried about this and I was glad when they got back home. And that they did not become ill..

Because this virus was very deadly for those who had illnesses such as Cancer, Cols, heart problems, lung diseases and asthma. I have also read that people who smoke, use heavy drugs or have overweight is also in the danger zone.

I started to understand very early in January and February that this virus was nasty and deadly. And by the end of February and the first 2 weeks into March I shared a lot of useful news articles, to help wake people up and understand what was coming. Some people got annoyed with me for posting so much about Corona, and at that time no one in Norway took this very serious and a lot more people were joking about it at that point. I smiled at a few funny meme`s about Corona but I couldn`t get myself to share anything. I knew that people in Italy and Wuhan were being strangled in their beds, dying alone without being able to see their families in their last living moments. And people couldn`t even give their lost loved ones a proper goodbye during their funeral.

And then this virus finally started to wake the United Kingdom up. At some point when Norway locked down, we had more infected than the UK. And then I knew they were going to be hit hard when their government didn`t take it serious at first, and didn`t put the country on lock down..

When they did it was a sad sight I learned how people behaved over thee hording the shops for toilette paper and all food. I watched many of my UK friends share on Facebook that they didn`t get the things they needed before the lock down, because the shops were horded in matter of hours it seemed. The next following day it was a clear sunny day in Brighton. It is springtime in the UK now, and the temperatures in the UK in April is quite nice and feels like summer for a Norwegian.. British people thought it was a good idea to swamp the seaside, And my mother in law said there was a lot of assholes in Southwold too, that didn`t understand the meaning of Staying Home to prevent more people getting infected. I think some Brits thought they were given an extra holiday..

And then Prince Charles and their Prime minister Boris Johnson caught the virus. And I think it is just a miracle that those two haven`t transferred that virus to other important people to the UK. Such as the Queen and her husband who are at a very high respectable age now. It seems to me that Prince Charles had recovered very fast without complications. But Boris Johnson who first said he only had mild symptoms, all though I saw on his face that he had high fever and didn`t look good. Later he ended up in the intensive care. Where he received some breathing assistance. He was a week later out of intensive care and was eventually discharged from St Thomas Hospital in London. He went straight to his massive mansion to recover from being 3 days or so in intensive care. The experts said that, for each day you are in intensive care you need 1 week to recover from it…

Meanwhile I kept following what my friends post on Facebook. And the husband of George Montague shared a terrible sad story that I had already read a little bit about on VG.no. That yet another care home for elderly had just left the old people alone to die. The last time I checked the number of deaths in the UK was when Nick published a post on Facebook saying over 12.000 people are now dead in the UK because of the Corona virus. And Tracy is still saying that people in the UK doesn`t stay the fuck home, and I feel so sorry for those who are really trying, but when also so many does not care about contributing, I don`t see any chance of the UK recovering from this for a good while yet. I have always tough only well about the Brits and I call England my second home country. I didn`t expect to see so many selfish and dumb people still not understanding that they need to stay at home in order to overcome this pandemic. How many more elderly people have to die all alone in their beds before you get the message? Who are you people who doesn`t care and are out walking in big herds down to the beaches? Who is the people throwing big parties and getting drunk, making the virus explode and spread even easier when you consume alcohol..?

STAY HOME

France, United Kingdom, USA, Sweden, Spain and Iceland
I have friends in the many different countries that are badly hit. And I can`t help but feeling a lot of stress and worry about those I cherish and care about. I am stuck here in Norway and I can`t go anywhere if something happens. I hope you all are staying the f… home so that we one day, when the world is better again we can met again.

Yesterday I went to the hospital, because it was time for my annual check up to see if everything is okey. And it was. I am still cancer free. But I have to admit that I was thinking a lot about it. And I fell a sleep very late because I was laying in bed, wondering if it was safe for me to go down there. But I also know that it is important that they also take care of other people who have or have had other serious diseases such as cancer. I was suppose to go to the hospital in Mars but that appointment got cancelled and postponed, because of the situation with the Corona virus. So the local news Nidaros called me and wanted to talk to me about my appointment being cancelled.. I talked to a very nice young lady, I was a little nervous because I struggle a little with my speech after chemo. But I liked the article she did and I hope I contributed to inspiring more girls to go check themselves.

When I came to the hospital`s Women and Children center I was stopped by a guard outside that wanted to know if I had been sick or had any symptoms of Corona. I said no, they called me 1 hour before I was going to the hospital and asked me the same questions I said. I am only here to see if my cancer is staying away. And he smiled and let me in. When I had told the reception lady that I had arrived. She told me to go sit in the first waiting room outside the gynecologist department. I sat down in a sofa far away from the two other ladies that sat there waiting too, on a respectable distance. Another lady comes and she sits too close to me for my comfort. So I decided to move and rather stand while I waited to be called in. I stood looking out in the hospital garden which is in the center of the four square building, and saw that someone had hung up lots of hearts in the trees. Which is a way to thank the hospital staff, who is working with the Covid 19 patients. I tried to take a picture but I didn`t get a good enough picture before the assistant came to pick me up, only to tell me to sit and wait in waiting hall number 2 outside the doctors office. It`s one of the most silliest things they do, every time I am there for a appointment. First the reception lady tells me to wait in one place, then they pick me up or send me a text message to go to the waiting room inside the poli clinic and sit there and wait. She showed me to a chair to sit in and she said it was soon my turn.. It is the first time they have been so on time, usually I am waiting way past the time I was told to be there. But there is almost no people at the hospital.. There is a note that hangs on the door next to me, that says something about, this it is a room where Corvid 19 tests are done and that room is cleaned and washed after every use.. I can`t help but wonder what the hell they are thinking of putting a Corona test room on the same department where ladies with different type of cancer goes often to see their doctors. I am shocked this is not okey and they should not have this people entering this part of the hospital at any points, because I know what seriously ill people are laying 6 floors upstairs fighting cancer. And the room is next to my doctor who is going to examine me. I know that this lady also spends a lot of time in her office up in the 6th floor seeing patients that are laying upstairs too. Because she was a lot there when I was laying there fighting cervical cancer….

I don`t think this is a safe place to have a covid 19 testing room, but I don`t say anything about it when I am in with my doctor. I ask her however how long she thinks I am still in the danger zone from dying of Corona after being cured for cancer. She says she thinks I am out of the risk group .. I hope she is right.

I walk out of the hospital happy to hear that I am still cancer free and that the results are so good now, that I am from now going to have my check up every 6 th month. I walk into the city and met some friends after. I am later overwhelmed and very touched by everyone who has liked and commented my status about being still cancer free and for all the love and good luck wishes I got after last nights confessions on Facebook, that I was stressing about going to the hospital. You all really know how to make me feel a little loved and not totally alone in this world.

I am forever grateful for all your love, care and support.
It really means a lot to me

I am mostly staying at home a lot. It gets a little boring sometimes when the times are like they are. But I have Oliver here with me. It has been snowing, storming and raining a lot this last week. So he is inside a lot and gets bored so he wants my attention quite a few times during the day. I have found something I call cat-TV on YouTube. So I put on a video with birds, squirrels and mice for him to watch. And he sits and watches those videos for a long time. During the Easter holiday there was a radio channel who was streaming live from a house that had 18 Maine Coons cats. 4 adults and 14 kittens. Oliver got totally hooked on it and sat glued to the TV screen when he saw the cats on the TV. We were sad to find out today was the last day of live cat TV and I`m going to have to try find him some other similar stream to watch.

Oliver is sick of snow and is looking up to see if he sees the sun is coming back soon.

I have to take Oliver to the dentist soon, because he is 3.5 years old now and it is time to polish his teeth. Cats can also get tooth aches. It was his veterinarian who looked at him on his last check and vaccine appointment who said it is time to do that now. He has to go under narcosis when they fix his teeth. But I think I can take him home the same day. I just wish that the veterinarians wasn`t so expensive. 1900 Kr (about 200 Euros or 250 pounds) to do that. No wonder animals walk around with pain, when these animal clinics charge that. They are very good with animals it is not that. I am very happy about the service we get, when me and Oliver have been there. But it has be okey to say that the prices at these places are absolutely disgusting!

(Oliver has got a friend that often stops by to look for Oliver. I see them rubbing noses and sniffing each other when the meet lol, they are so cute)

I go out when I need something at the shop or when need some fresh air and a walk. Norway`s Government have decided that next Monday the kids from 1st to the 4th grade are going too start going to school again. Some people highly disagree and thinks that this is too early. And I think I might agree on that a little. Also from 27th of April, the hair dresser salons can open again. And I have been looking forward to get a hair cut. So I am going to go do that when they open. I am really sick of snow and winter. So I hope spring begins soon, because this winter has been long and a lot of snow came this winter too. Now I really long for summer nights that doesn`t darken, and feeling the warm sun on my cheek. And sitting in the park with friends zipping wine and barbecuing.

(Not much room for me)

It is time for me to get some sleep it is 4 am while I am finishing this. Oliver has taken most of my double bed to himself. So I will have to see if I can squeeze in at the edge of the bed. Hope I get a little duvet on too.

stay safe & healthy
x Mz Smacky x

FACEBOOK TWITTER

Posted in Smacky

Tags: st olav, cervical cancer, helt svarte katter, livmorhalskreft, black cats, oliver, thoughts about corona virus, covid 19, pets, is the corona virus dangerous for cats, can cats catch covid 19, korona i trondheim, Trondheim

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Dear all Ladies working in the Porn or Sex Industry

June 3rd, 2019

SmackyGirl

When I see how many of you ladies who work as a porn actresses in porn movies are almost never protected in your job against deadly viruses, it worries me about what the future holds for these girls and women. It makes me angry to see studios don`t give a fuck about people`s health and life. I am sorry I am not known for being afraid of speaking my mind out there. If I have offended anyone so far with this post, have a seat I`m not done talking yet..

I would like to say something to all you ignorant idiots and money greedy bastards that runs and owns all these studios today. Many or them doesn`t seem to give a flying fuck about the lives and health of all these women working for them. I don`t like that job moral where the one part is laughing all the way too the bank with the money they have earned by playing with human lives.. You girls probably protect yourself with some sort of birth control pills, plasters or other alternatives you prefer to stop unwanted pregnancy. But it makes me so frustrated when I see all the men that work with these girls have absolutely no intention to put a condom on their penis. You who are women who work in the sex and porn industry have many reasons to be worried about your future health if you keep that lifestyle up, if you think it is worth putting your life on the line like that?

I think it is about time that these ladies who are working for a bareback studio, hear about what danger you are getting yourselves in to by having sex with multiple sexual partners unprotected.

Using condoms during sex offers some protection against HPV, but it cannot always prevent infection because the virus is also spread through skin-to-skin contact of the wider genital area.

WHAT IS THE HPV VIRUS?:

Human papillomavirus (HPV) causes the majority of cervical cancer cases. (Smoking is the 2nd) The HPV vaccine successfully prevents HPV. Infection with some types of HPV is the greatest risk factor for cervical cancer, Young women who are still able to get this vaccine should get one imminently. Parents who have daughters should all take their daughters to get the vaccine to prevent both Cervical cancer and breast cancer. Women who have sex with men who have many other sexual partners, or women who have many sexual partners have a greater risk. Many men also carry the HPV virus naturally within them. Which can lead to Cervical cancer in women later in life.

What causes Cervical cancer?

Almost all cases of cervical cancer are caused by HPV. HPV is a very common virus that can be passed on through any type of sexual contact with a man or a woman.

SYMPTOMS AND SIGNS

This type of cancer has often no symptoms before it reaches a later and more dangerous stage. There are 4 stages. 1 and 2 are moderate. Stage 3 and 4 is deadly. It is important for all women go see your gynecologists every 3rd year to take a pap test. The test takes only 5 minutes and it does not hurt. During a cervical screening, a small sample of cells is taken from the cervix and checked under a microscope for abnormalities.

If you have any symptoms like this you should go consult a doctor ASAP:

Bleeding between periods

Bleeding after sexual intercourse

Bleeding in post-menopausal women

Discomfort during sexual intercourse

Vaginal discharge with a strong odor

Vaginal discharge tinged with blood

Pelvic pain

If you have got Cervical cancer it will change everything and it can ruin your life forever. In many cases women die from this type of cancer because they didn`t test themselves. Many young women in their early 20`s, who had their whole lives a head of them, have died shortly after being diagnosed with this horrible disease.

If you have radiotherapy treatment for Cervical Cancer, you will never be able to have children again.
And you will also loose all your hair down there and it will never come back.
You will also be put in to an early menopause in less than 24 hours after your radiotherapy has started on the inside.
You will loose your PMS completely.
You might have to start chemotherapy at the same time also. Depending on how much chemo you will need to have to beat the cancer.

You might also loose all your hair on the head, and everywhere else too on your body. Such as eyebrows and eyelashes can fall off too. With chemotherapy the hair grows back out again after you have finished. But the hair the radiotherapy laser touches, will never grow back out again.. This is not a disease that I would wish upon any women to be affected by. You will feel sick and awful so many times, and the medicine you get against nausea during chemo does not always work on all. It did on me I am thankful for that. But it did not work at all on that poor young woman who was getting treatment at the same time as I did when I was sick.

I have seen people look more dead than alive laying at the hospital, while they are under treatment for cancer. I heard a person from another room one evening when I was staying at the hospital. The person was crying out begged to just let them die in peace instead of having to feel awful from Chemotherapy and radiotherapy every day. You can get so sick that you are locked to your bed the whole time. Having cancer is going to affect your family and close friends, sometimes they need someone to talk to when learning that someone they love and care about have become seriously ill. Cancer affects everyone around you that you are close to because people realizes that someone they care about might or might not make it..

The number of deaths to this disease is high and increasing ..
World Wide Cervical Cancer affects 490.000 new women every year. with more than 270.000 deaths.
It is estimated that in 2010 – 12.200 woman will be diagnosed with Cervical Cancer in the United states and 4200 will die.
In Norway over 300 women are diagnosed with Cervical cancer each year, around 70 of these die. ( The population in Norway: 5 million people. )

Do you think these studios will visit you at the hospital and care for you, if you become sick with Cervical cancer? Do you think they will offer to help you financially with all the new expenses you will have now for e.g; transport, hospital, and medical expenses you are going to get now on top of the regular bills you have to pay too, rent, food, electric, phone bill, internet etc. Having cervical cancer is an expensive type of cancer you will need a lot of sanitary and hygienic products, you can forget wearing any plain white trousers for some time. Your clothes such as underwear and trousers, bed sheets, towels and so on will need to be washed or thrown because there will be a mess and your bed need to be changed every day if you are on chemo. This disease continues to be a mess also, after you have beat it ..

You will possible have your sex life destroyed for life and be in a lot of pain if you try to make love with your partner. If you don`t have a partner the hospital will tell you what you need to keep your own vagina open. Other wise it will close after you have had the radiotherapy started to laser the inside of your belly.. This will be the most hard on your belly. I sat with tears in my eyes trying to pee. It was so painful it felt like needles trying to come out. This is where women go into instant menopause no matter how young you are. I am 36 and I am in the middle of it now hoping it is going to finish soon. Because it is taking so long I am in my 2nd year, but I want to be done with this strange time now. You will not get your menopause symptoms naturally and graceful over the years like most women do. You will have everything thrown at you in 24 hours on full power. You also might have to operate if you have a tumor and the tumor is of that size that it has to be taken out by a surgeon if the radiotherapy doesn`t shrink it. That is a very big operation, if they decide to take out everything. You will be bond to your bed for weeks not allowed to move or do any heavy activities or lift heavy things. Because it takes time to heal from a operation like that. So you will have to spend the first days in a bed after a operation like that.

I have beat my cancer, but I am struggling with late effects from chemo and radiotherapy

My back is not doing so good, it is actually almost broken. My bone marrow could not handle any more Chemotherapy. So before I needed a donor they took me off it. Exercise makes me feel much better.
I don`t talk the same way I did before, I forget what simple things are named. When I am trying to speak some words are difficult to say out right and it sounds like I have started studding too sometimes.
Your belly will hurt so much some days specially in the morning to me.
I am feeling like a 90 year old lady sometimes. I keep forgetting where I have left my keys, phone, lighters, purse and other important things like that I need.
It is sticking a intense itching in my ears every now and then, and feel like my hearing has gone down a little. Sometimes I can`t hear what people are saying if there is music, traffic in the background or something like that..
My skin is dry and look older and it often gets very irritated after the radiotherapy. I get sunburned very easily now, if I am in the sunlight for too long. I have also found a few grey hair after chemo 🙁
I get very exhausted sometimes just by tidying up my home. I almost have a nap every day, sometimes I need two because the day can be so long for me and sometimes now.
I am in menopause and it is not nice to go through that face. You guys should know that women don`t have it easy when that period is over us. But I am trying to cope and not be a grumpy SmackyGirl. But I have had a few emotional explosions come out of the blue. Like that day where I started crying because the hairbrush got stuck in my hair… Haha it doesn`t take so much some days.. Before I never cried at sad or good things that I saw on TV, in a movie or something. But now I can`t watch anything sad or upsetting at the moment. Sometimes I feel a lump in my throat and tears coming down my cheek when I am watching something sad or happy when I am around visiting friends, it is so embarrassing because it can`t be controlled sometimes suddenly I`m sitting there crying loads over sad things I see on TV.

I am hoping that one day the late effects and the menopause will let go soon, and that I can manage to keep the cancer away. Because I don`t know what happens if it comes back if my bone marrow can handle any more chemotherapy. If not..,,, I hope I don`t because I might need to look for a bone marrow donor, my family is not that big …

I did not have the HPV virus. I have smoked since I was 13 and my eating habits was a lot more different before than what it is now. I am almost down to being a vegetarian. If I smell food cooking I sometimes feel sick and don`t want it. Cold food such as a lot of fruit, nuts and yogurts, cereals and raisins is what I mostly live on now compared to what I did before it was too much unhealthy food. It is important to cut down on red met, junk food and processed food it is not good for us to eat so much meat and cooked food. I am becoming more and more careful with what I eat. I am out working out almost everyday.. But the smoking I haven`t managed to put away fully yet. So I getting a lot of moaning from my doctors every time I have my next check up..

On the 11th and the 12th I go to the hospital to have my downstairs repaired. The cancer is gone, but the radiotherapy has left me broken and not functioning.. I don`t know if this will help and I probably won`t talk about that on here either if it does or not. But I am keeping my fingers crossed hoping that maybe I can live as a normal woman again..

All you women out there need to take Cervical cancer serious in this world today. The number of women who get diagnosed with this type of cancer are often very young girls in their early twenties only.. I have read somewhere that many girls think it is embarrassing asking the guy if he has a condom or suggest that they should put a condom on before sex.

GIRLS THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO BE SCARED TO ASK YOUR DUDES TO PUT A CONDOM ON!

If he says he dosen`t have one, tell him to be an responsible grown up man and go buy one.

“If he wants your sugar
He better run and get the rubber”

If a guy really cares about you he will respect your wishes.
And if he doesn`t, tell him,

Thank you! Next..

xxx
x Mz Smacky x

FACEBOOK TWITTER

Posted in Smacky

Tags: cervical cancer, livmorhalskreft, Porn girls, Girls in bareback porn not protected against HPV

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Living after surviving Cancer

August 27th, 2018

SmackyGirl

I bless myself for being so lucky to have survived Cervical Cancer 1 year and 5 months ago. It could of gone the wrong way as it sadly has to many women before me who has got this disease. Many of these are very young women who have passed away to this terrible disease. At the hospital where I go for my controls every 3rd month there is a poster on the wall in the hospital waiting room saying “Livet er det fineste”. Which means Life is the Finest. And it is quoted by a girl called Thea Steen who passed away to this disease and who was also a blogger talking about her fight against cancer. One of our tv channels TV2 made a documentary that followed her until the day she passed away in the hospital in 2016 .. It is a very strong documentary I recommend people watching it. Maybe people will understand how horrible this disease is and take action and frequently go test themselves.

Many girls and women don`t go and check themselves every 3rd month as recommended. You are in the danger zone if you are a girl with multiple unprotected sexual partners. Always use a condom. Many men carry the HPV virus, which can lead to Cervical cancer in women. Also smoking, having a bad lifestyle and eating unhealthy food are also a way you can get this type of cancer. This type of cancer has very often no symptoms and many will never notice anything at all before in later and the dangerous and deadly stages of this disease. You can go for many years not knowing you have it and you might be too late for a treatment if you don`t go check yourselves often enough.

I can say I am nearly cured from my cancer today. I still have some spreading in my throat lymphatics, that is why it is important that I go to my controls as well. My next control is on 9th of October. I also go for a CT scan ones a year. It used to be every 3rd month, but after the doctors were so satisfied with my results last year, they decided my next CT was a year a head of instead. So my next now is in January 2019. That comforts and relaxes me a lot knowing that when they have good news like that <3

Yet I don`t feel completely cured still either. Its painful waking up in the morning with stomach pains and getting through the whole day without having troubles learning how I am going to live a comfortable life with these aftereffects that came sneaking upon on me right after 2 months of Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy last year. I sadly now painfully feel some of the worst side effects you can get from having cancer treatment..

The first things I am noticing is my speaking. I have problems finding words and saying them. I struggle with concentrating if there is a large group talking. Or if someone has a longer story to tell. I fall out quickly. Or if someone goes out of the room while we are talking and comes back to talk about the same thing I have forgotten what we were even talking about.. I forget where I have put things, and I think I have lost my stuff all the time, and I spend so much time looking for my stuff confused around my house or at my mates houses. My friends have been very patient with me because they know I am struggling with keeping up at the moment. They help me a lot finding my money, my keys, phone and lighters and also with remembering things.. I forget things very fast and I too often now need to have some things explained to me more than once for me to keep up.

I have fainted 3 times this last year, had one last week again. And last one was so painful, because I landed on my face and woke up in a blood bath in my bathroom. Also fainted in my bathroom this May and also had one fainting last year in my kitchen where I landed badly on my foot and could not walk for days.

This last week I fainted again, and it seems like its always happening when I wake up in the morning. I feel intense pain in my belly and feel very ill right before it happens, and then I just collapse and after a while I don`t know how long I had been laying but I wake up understanding that I had just fainted again… And it takes a long time before I can get up from the floor. Luckily I have my cat Oliver who has been sitting next to me every time this has happened watching over me. Its a little bit scary when this happens, specially when you live on our own and no one can come help you. So I have been to the doctor last week. They took a heart test, blood samples and they also took other tests. I have not heard anything from my doctor yet. I was worried I was getting sick again …

(Me fainting on the bathroom floor again last week)

I also feel what chemo has done with my back. It is not very painful yet, a bit more like aching at the moment but it tears on me. I was taken off the Chemotherapy before it was fully completed because my bone marrow could not handle anymore and my blood platelet fell down too. So they stopped it before I needed a donor or bleed to death from the platelet collapsing. So its pure luck probably that I am still here alive and breathing to tell you the tale but I had a lot of good doctors both on and outside the hospital helping me that I could have not survived without.

I need to relax more then I used to. I find myself often falling a sleep in the middle of the day out of exhaustion. I can also no longer be close with anyone or have a boyfriend, because the radiotherapy has totally destroyed me. So I am waiting for an operation so they can open me up again. The Cervical cancer is a bit complicated for my simple English to explain to ya`ll.

But the radiotherapy and its lasers basically turns everything around in a woman and closes us when we no longer are productive. I am only 36 and the Radiotherapy got me into something called artificial menopause in less than 24 hours on the last 4 days of my treatment at the hospital. So you can say I am in the middle of the worst stage right now and it will keep going on at least a year or more I`v been told. And I have read that some can also have menopause symptoms all their life.. I hope that`s not going to be my case. I take estrogen medicine and it helps a lot on the hot flashes thank God for that, they are not nice to have at all.

But it does not help much on all the thoughts and feelings I have inside. I am feeling a lot on the emotional part lately. And that can be very tough some days and often I just want to be home alone. Thou it would be nice to have someone to talk and snuggle up with at night. If I was 90+ I would probably don`t do anything about it, but I think its a bit soon to cash in on my sex life just yet at 36…. I am waiting to get my operation so I have at least one less problem to stress about. But it tears on you that you can`t function fully as a woman. We are all human and have needs. Getting this disease is going to rearrange your whole life and keep making life difficult to live. Even though I have been told “You`re cured”

It doesn`t feel like that to me.. Too many days I still feel like shit

I have a lot of good friends that has been there for me the whole way, and I am so thankful for all the love and support they show me. Yet sometimes I sit home and cry my eyes out and wishing Jay was here with me to help me through this… But sometimes I think I get little hints, or like when something suddenly is happening around that I can connect to him. Like sometimes a song comes on the radio that means something to us, or I just happen to fall over some stuff that makes me sometimes wonder if he has been around watching over me the whole time? But it definitely feels very empty and lonely not having my closest friend to hold my hand when my days were most difficult.

It is important for me to share my story to help prevent more girls becoming sick. You don`t want this disease and it is going to be with you for the rest of your life… If you make it that is..

x Mz Smacky x

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Tags: sjekkdeg kreft, living after cancer, surviving after cancer, ariana grande breatin, cervical cancer, livmorhalskreft

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The Aftermath

August 28th, 2017

SmackyGirl

I find myself to be a very different person after going through cancer. You definitely wont be the same person you was before after having a battle like that. I know I have been quiet on this blog lately, sorry. but it has been wonderful having some time to relocate a new and better place for me to live and getting everything there sorted out. I am sorta getting settled in now. I have some redecorating ideas I am starting on later this fall. I have been needing a break for some time to grieve my best friend properly and to deal with my own health problems at the same time, its been a bit too much for one human to go through at ones so blogging in between all that has made it difficult.

Some times I get messages from Dakota Shine fans who have learned of his death and feel upset and sad that their idol has passed away. That gives me a great chance to talk about Jay and remember him and how he was. I always find joy in hearing some of the stories about why they like him and how they are missing him too. I saw someone call themselves the Gummi Bear Squad the other day online that made me smile and would of made Jay too. That was kind of our thing haha I was his Mrs Gummi Bear and he was my Mr Gummi Bear lol. Its fun to see that you guys who want to honor and remember him come up with stuff like that. Because it makes me laugh too, because i know the story why I called him that. Even though it hurts to lose a friend, thinking about good times and memories I had with him makes me smile too.

So now I am finally starting to get settled in to my new and lovely home a little bit on the country side. Which is about a 20 min bus ride from the city here called Trondheim. And I really enjoy living here so far. I have always enjoyed living a bit country rather than living in a city. I grew up working on farms with horses and all sorts of other animals so I`m not unfamiliar with living in the fields. And on the pluss side you get much bigger space for much less rent if you pick something outside the hot zone. My city Trondheim is home to a large university so the rent here can be ridiculous high. So I choose to live grand and cheap on the country side instead of urban and minimalistic in the city. I had people break in to my home where I last lived in the middle of the city. So couldn`t keep on living there and, now I am so happy to be living here in peace and quiet.

And of course Oliver is happy to finally be able to go outside, all though he doesn`t go off far on his own yet he keeps following me around like a dog haha he is the funniest cat I have ever had. I found out he doesn`t like men. He has hissed at every one he has seen. But he likes ladies and lets them pet him when I have females visiting. So at least Oliver has his preferences sorted out. I see my cat as more than just an animal, he is my buddy and a part of the family. All this horrible stories I see all the time where people mistreat animals makes me very upset on behalf of my cat. My cat lives the happy cat life. I sure wish all other animals could do the same.

Ok I got a little carried away there haha but it was with good intentions. I just wanted to post some news in my blog, to tell ya I`m still rolling with the good times. Sommer is over here I`m sure of it, it has been freezing and raining most of it anyway. After I had chemotherapy I have gotten so cold and I am starting to dislike a few other side affects after the treatment I had. I had my first control and was revealed to know that they found no trace of the cancer on my test results. But then we talked about the known after side effects and was told it was normal and I just needed to relax and let everything process and it would be easier with time. I sure hope some, some of these stomach cramps feels like seven hells.

So I`m just putting my hopes in meditation and the good old keep on going faith.

A lot of people want to talk Game of Thrones with me. I`m not surprised I am a mega fan, I stay up half the night just to wait for the new episodes every week and assume that everyone else does that too seeing the traffic to my chat. Its a passion of mine I guess, and I am also reading the books. I`m half into book number 2, it is actually worth reading it too. But I don`t know what to say sometimes I`m just as shocked as you guys are after each episodes. I even had a lot of theories that turned out to just happened. That`s the fun thing about watching Game of Thrones. You get carried away and make out your own ending of the show. I kind of have a thing for Cercei, I just love her she makes the show exciting. But I have no certain idea of how I think it will end just an strange idea. G.R.R Martin has let the show go a head and in front of the books so he can finish the sixth book about A Song of Ice and Fire.. I think we might not see the end in the TV-series at all.. The TV series is just a trailer for his coming books. There are still 2 left to be published. I think we might need to buy the book. But that remains to see. Its so exciting. But there will be spinn-offs and prequels after Game of Thrones ends on TV until George R.R Martin finishes the final books.

But that`s just my theory, everyone has one so it just remains to see who gets it right in the end.

I can`t wait..

GOT Season 8 – 2018/19….?

x Mz Smacky x

P:S
Oh! And a little Bieber. Always have time for Bieber

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Tags: Living with cancer, livmorhalskreft, Side effects after cancer, cercical cancer, seneffekter etter cellegift og strålebehandling, missing a best friend, loss of bestfriend, game of thrones theory, dakota shine

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Life is a gift

May 10th, 2017

SmackyGirl

It has been 1 week since I was told at the hospital that I have won the fight against cancer and that the cancer is gone in my body. My week has been one big smile since I learned that. The first person I texted right after finding it out was my mum, then my sister, then I got lazy and just posted the news for every one else on to my Facebook. I got a lot of congratulations and well done wishes from family and friends from near and far. It has been a wonderful week knowing that I have won over Cervical Cancer and I haven`t stopped smiling since.

A lot of stress have fallen of my shoulders but it hasn`t yet sunk in completely that I have beat the diseases that I have been struggling with for the past 6 months. And I know the fear of it returning and the disease will always be a part of me. I don`t think I am the same person any more. I will have to go back for controls every 3rd month the first year, my next CT scan is in already in June because they still want to keep an eye on my lymphatics where there was some spreading. But the tumor is gone and the doctor said she can`t see any traces of the disease in my body anymore. I am trying to turn my life around to the good by eating healthier and taking long walks, I have also joined the gym again. I used to be good at working out but my last few years my focus have been on trying to help my best friend out of the difficult things so I have put myself on the hold. I have used to work with horses, been a gymnastic and played football earlier and I miss being active again. I have not been so good at trying to quit smoking, it is not as easy for some of us as it is for others. But it is in my mind every day when I light one that this is a disgusting habit that kill people every day that I need to quit. I have to keep trying. But it has to be on my own will and effort. Being nagged on by doctors and nurses ain`t going to help. I just have to come to one day and say this is enough and just put it away for good.

My plan was to go to London to attend the Prowler Awards 11th of may with the guys, but I have changed my plans because someone in my family is planning a big party to celebrate that I have won over cancer and also a few of my friends wants me to come out and celebrate with them. So I am going to choose that over London this year. But hopefully I can come back another year. I hope that you all have been very helpful voting for the guys at French-Twinks who are nominated in the category best international porn star, that would make me very happy because they work so hard and are so nice and welcoming to everyone who support them that I think they deserve to win awards. No matter what they are winners in my eyes but I wish them the best of luck and hope someone from French Twinks win. I thank the Prowler Awards and Twisted XXX Media for the invite to the awards and apologies for not being able to attend. I got life as an award so I have plenty to celebrate here and people to see. But have a smashing cool evening to everyone going tomorrow 🙂 Maybe I`ll see you next year!

I have missed travelling but cancer has left me in a bit of a financial trauma. The money that I had saved up as a buffer for my travels over the years have been used for medication, hospital bills and transport for the last 6 months, so I will have to start saving up again before I can go anywhere. I have so many travel dreams. Asia, America and Australia and of course going to Nice and check out the French-Twinks studio to do a behind the scenes post about the guys who run the company and the lovely guys who work for them as a model. So I can`t wait to save up some money and continue my world tour again. I get really restless of staying at one place at the time too long…

I`m also trying to locate a new appartement but my budget is kind of tight now a days and its not much to choose from at the moment. I really want my cat to get the opportunity to go outside, so it has to be in a area that doesn`t have high traffic, but at the same time not to far away from public transport and a food shop. Living a bit on the country side doesn`t bother me since I have been pretty much living in the stables all my life growing up working with race horses. But hopefully the luck turns soon and the perfect dream home will be available..

Well that`s all for now, I`m off to see a friend to help him with some stuff in his home. I hope everyone will have a beautiful spring time and are blessed with great sunny and warm weather.

Best of Love From
Mrs Gummi Bear
x Smacky x

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Tags: Winning over cancer, French twinks Prowler porn awards 2017, Prowler Porn Awards vote, vant kampen mot kreften, travel, travelling, gymnastic, football, cervical cancer, livmorhalskreft

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Holiday`s Are Coming

December 22nd, 2016

SmackyGirl

I bet you are all busy flying about getting everything ready for Christmas. So no one got time to read this anyway. Haha. Anyway I just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. I am doing okey considering. I`m doing a lot better then many of the other patients who get the exact treatment as I do. But I am very strong physically and mentally. I`v been through a lot in my 34 years living. I always find a way if something is difficult. It`s not easy to bring Smacky down. The life that I have had has made me strong. And when it comes to what I am dealing with now I think that is an advantage.

I am currently having chemotherapy ones a week and radiotherapy 5 days a week. I`m not feeling my greatest, I got to admit that. But I haven`t been sick so that`s good.

But I get it. Chemotherapy messes with your mental health. It makes me very emotional. But other than that I have been doing just fine. I`m on my second round with chemotherapy. They have warned me that things might change after 4 or 5. But I figured I just have to wait and see when I get there. Then deal with it then.

(Completed 7 of 36 Radiotherapy treatments)

(What it looks like when I have radiotherapy. I lay there everyday for about 5 to 8 minutes. One part of the machine takes x-rays, and the other is where the radiotherapy is given. Its a red laser. I can`t feel it or see it while I am under it. I don`t feel it before after a few hours. Your skinn gets red glowing, irritated and I have to use a lot of lotion, and I`m not allowed to wear too much clothes. I also sometimes get very warm after radiotherapy. Like from the inside. Specially in the throat. Feels like a hearth burn.)

(What it looks like when I have chemotherapy, there are 3×1000 milliliters (ml) of saltwater, and later when I have finished them they bring another 1000 ml of saltwater pluss a red bag which is the chemotherapy 1000 ml. Its a bit painful to the arm when I get it. And you have to go to the bathroom every 15 minute. I feel drunk couple of days after getting it. And very emotional. This treatment takes about 3 to 6 hours)

But they have seen progress on the pictures they take every morning when I go to have my radiotherapy. So if it goes the right way and the tumor shrinks when I am finished on 2nd of February, I hope that I can get my operation quickly and then maybe some time begin to hope that I will be clear of the cancer. That`s my wish for Christmas.

And along with spending time with my family and my friends of course. We have many traditions that I love. I will try and post some pictures of our Norwegian Christmas later. We haven`t got any snow yet. So you can only imagine what crisis that is for Norwegians. It makes the main news if we don`t have a white Christmas. Some people say they won`t get into proper Christmas spirit without it. We are so used to having snow that it make debates if we don`t get it. Specially around Christmas. Norway is a quiet and peaceful country living in a bubble, modern and rich, not much really happens here. So yes, we do make a big deal out of not getting any snow for Christmas, tragically enough haha. Today I`m stressing about delivering Christmas presents around to my friends so I am glad its not snowing.

Tomorrow I`m spending my day with the lady who lives next door to me. She has her boyfriend from Germany visiting her. You know I had German in High School but I can`t remember much really lol. I have never liked the language, I think its horrible and harsh. But I`ll give it a go for Udo.

On Christmas Eve , I am spending my time with my family. We usually change between being at my mums and my sister every other year. So this year we are celebrating it at my sisters home. I got some party invites later this holiday that I might consider joining.

To all my readers

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday.

x Smacky x

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Tags: cervical cancer, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Living with cancer, livmorhalskreft, å leve med kreft

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SmackyGirl

Crazy Catlady with a blog <3

Staying The Fuck Home in Norway: Day 34

Dear all Ladies working in the Porn or Sex Industry

What causes Cervical cancer?

Living after surviving Cancer

The Aftermath

Life is a gift

Holiday`s Are Coming

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