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The Aftermath

August 28th, 2017 SmackyGirl

I find myself to be a very different person after going through cancer. You definitely wont be the same person you was before after having a battle like that. I know I have been quiet on this blog lately, sorry. but it has been wonderful having some time to relocate a new and better place for me to live and getting everything there sorted out. I am sorta getting settled in now. I have some redecorating ideas I am starting on later this fall. I have been needing a break for some time to grieve my best friend properly and to deal with my own health problems at the same time, its been a bit too much for one human to go through at ones so blogging in between all that has made it difficult.

Some times I get messages from Dakota Shine fans who have learned of his death and feel upset and sad that their idol has passed away. That gives me a great chance to talk about Jay and remember him and how he was. I always find joy in hearing some of the stories about why they like him and how they are missing him too. I saw someone call themselves the Gummi Bear Squad the other day online that made me smile and would of made Jay too. That was kind of our thing haha I was his Mrs Gummi Bear and he was my Mr Gummi Bear lol. Its fun to see that you guys who want to honor and remember him come up with stuff like that. Because it makes me laugh too, because i know the story why I called him that. Even though it hurts to lose a friend, thinking about good times and memories I had with him makes me smile too. 

So now I am finally starting to get settled in to my new and lovely home a little bit on the country side. Which is about a 20 min bus ride from the city here called Trondheim. And I really enjoy living here so far. I have always enjoyed living a bit country rather than living in a city. I grew up working on farms with horses and all sorts of other animals so I`m not unfamiliar with living in the fields. And on the pluss side you get much bigger space for much less rent if you pick something outside the hot zone. My city Trondheim is home to a large university so the rent here can be ridiculous high. So I choose to live grand and cheap on the country side instead of urban and minimalistic in the city. I had people break in to my home where I last lived in the middle of the city. So couldn`t keep on living there and, now I am so happy to be living here in peace and quiet.  

And of course Oliver is happy to finally be able to go outside, all though he doesn`t go off far on his own yet he keeps following me around like a dog haha he is the funniest cat I have ever had. I found out he doesn`t like men. He has hissed at every one he has seen. But he likes ladies and lets them pet him when I have females visiting. So at least Oliver has his preferences sorted out. I see my cat as more than just an animal, he is my buddy and a part of the family. All this horrible stories I see all the time where people mistreat animals makes me very upset on behalf of my cat. My cat lives the happy cat life. I sure wish all other animals could do the same.

Ok I got a little carried away there haha but it was with good intentions. I just wanted to post some news in my blog, to tell ya I`m still rolling with the good times. Sommer is over here I`m sure of it, it has been freezing and raining most of it anyway.  After I had chemotherapy I have gotten so cold and I am starting to dislike a few other side affects after the treatment I had. I had my first control and was revealed to know that they found no trace of the cancer on my test results. But then we talked about the known after side effects and was told it was normal and I just needed to relax and let everything process and it would be easier with time. I sure hope some, some of these stomach cramps feels like seven hells.  

So I`m just putting my hopes in meditation and the good old keep on going faith. 

A lot of people want to talk Game of Thrones with me. I`m not surprised I am a mega fan, I stay up half the night just to wait for the new episodes every week and assume that everyone else does that too seeing the traffic to my chat. Its a passion of mine I guess, and I am also reading the books. I`m half into book number 2, it is actually worth reading it too. But I don`t know what to say sometimes I`m just as shocked as you guys are after each episodes. I even had a lot of theories that turned out to just happened. That`s the fun thing about watching Game of Thrones. You get carried away and make out your own ending of the show. I kind of have a thing for Cercei, I just love her she makes the show exciting. But I have no certain idea of how I think it will end just an strange idea. G.R.R Martin has let the show go a head and in front of the books so he can finish the sixth book about A Song of Ice and Fire.. I think we might not see the end in the TV-series at all.. The TV series is just a trailer for his coming books. There are still 2 left to be published. I think we might need to buy the book. But that remains to see. Its so exciting. But there will be spinn-offs and prequels after Game of Thrones ends on TV until George R.R Martin finishes the final books.

But that`s just my theory, everyone has one so it just remains to see who gets it right in the end.

I can`t wait..

GOT Season 8 – 2018/19….?

x Mz Smacky x

P:S
Oh! And a little Bieber. Always have time for Bieber

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Posted in Smacky Tags: livmorhalskreft, Side effects after cancer, cercical cancer, seneffekter etter cellegift og strålebehandling, missing a best friend, loss of bestfriend, game of thrones theory, dakota shine, Living with cancer No Comments »

Holiday`s Are Coming

December 22nd, 2016 SmackyGirl

I bet you are all busy flying about getting everything ready for Christmas. So no one got time to read this anyway. Haha. Anyway I just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. I am doing okey considering. I`m doing a lot better then many of the other patients who get the exact treatment as I do. But I am very strong physically and mentally. I`v been through a lot in my 34 years living. I always find a way if something is difficult. It`s not easy to bring Smacky down. The life that I have had has made me strong. And when it comes to what I am dealing with now I think that is an advantage. 

I am currently having chemotherapy ones a week and radiotherapy 5 days a week. I`m not feeling my greatest, I got to admit that. But I haven`t been sick so that`s good.

But I get it. Chemotherapy messes with your mental health. It makes me very emotional. But other than that I have been doing just fine. I`m on my second round with chemotherapy. They have warned me that things might change after 4 or 5. But I figured I just have to wait and see when I get there. Then deal with it then. 

(Completed 7 of 36 Radiotherapy treatments)

(What it looks like when I have radiotherapy. I lay there everyday for about 5 to 8 minutes. One part of the machine takes x-rays, and the other is where the radiotherapy is given. Its a red laser. I can`t feel it or see it while I am under it. I don`t feel it before after a few hours. Your skinn gets red glowing, irritated and I have to use a lot of lotion, and I`m not allowed to wear too much clothes. I also sometimes get very warm after radiotherapy. Like from the inside. Specially in the throat. Feels like a hearth burn.)

(What it looks like when I have chemotherapy, there are 3×1000 milliliters (ml) of saltwater, and later when I have finished them they bring another 1000 ml of saltwater pluss a red bag which is the chemotherapy 1000 ml. Its a bit painful to the arm when I get it. And you have to go to the bathroom every 15 minute. I feel drunk couple of days after getting it. And very emotional. This treatment takes about 3 to 6 hours)

But they have seen progress on the pictures they take every morning when I go to have my radiotherapy. So if it goes the right way and the tumor shrinks when I am finished on 2nd of February, I hope that I can get my operation quickly and then maybe some time begin to hope that I will be clear of the cancer. That`s my wish for Christmas.

And along with spending time with my family and my friends of course. We have many traditions that I love. I will try and post some pictures of our Norwegian Christmas later. We haven`t got any snow yet. So you can only imagine what crisis that is for Norwegians. It makes the main news if we don`t have a white Christmas. Some people say they won`t get into proper Christmas spirit without it. We are so used to having snow that it make debates if we don`t get it. Specially around Christmas. Norway is a quiet and peaceful country living in a bubble, modern and rich, not much really happens here. So yes, we do make a big deal out of not getting any snow for Christmas, tragically enough haha. Today I`m stressing about delivering Christmas presents around to my friends so I am glad its not snowing. 

Tomorrow I`m spending my day with the lady who lives next door to me. She has her boyfriend from Germany visiting her. You know I had German in High School but I can`t remember much really lol. I have never liked the language, I think its horrible and harsh. But I`ll give it a go for Udo. 

On Christmas Eve , I am spending my time with my family. We usually change between being at my mums and my sister every other year. So this year we are celebrating it at my sisters home. I got some party invites later this holiday that I might consider joining. 

To all my readers 

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday.

 

x Smacky x

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Posted in Smacky Tags: cervical cancer, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Living with cancer, livmorhalskreft, å leve med kreft No Comments »
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