SmackyGirl

It has been 1 week since I was told at the hospital that I have won the fight against cancer and that the cancer is gone in my body. My week has been one big smile since I learned that. The first person I texted right after finding it out was my mum, then my sister, then I got lazy and just posted the news for every one else on to my Facebook. I got a lot of congratulations and well done wishes from family and friends from near and far. It has been a wonderful week knowing that I have won over Cervical Cancer and I haven`t stopped smiling since.

A lot of stress have fallen of my shoulders but it hasn`t yet sunk in completely that I have beat the diseases that I have been struggling with for the past 6 months. And I know the fear of it returning and the disease will always be a part of me. I don`t think I am the same person any more. I will have to go back for controls every 3rd month the first year, my next CT scan is in already in June because they still want to keep an eye on my lymphatics where there was some spreading. But the tumor is gone and the doctor said she can`t see any traces of the disease in my body anymore. I am trying to turn my life around to the good by eating healthier and taking long walks, I have also joined the gym again. I used to be good at working out but my last few years my focus have been on trying to help my best friend out of the difficult things so I have put myself on the hold. I have used to work with horses, been a gymnastic and played football earlier and I miss being active again. I have not been so good at trying to quit smoking, it is not as easy for some of us as it is for others. But it is in my mind every day when I light one that this is a disgusting habit that kill people every day that I need to quit. I have to keep trying. But it has to be on my own will and effort. Being nagged on by doctors and nurses ain`t going to help. I just have to come to one day and say this is enough and just put it away for good.

My plan was to go to London to attend the Prowler Awards 11th of may with the guys, but I have changed my plans because someone in my family is planning a big party to celebrate that I have won over cancer and also a few of my friends wants me to come out and celebrate with them. So I am going to choose that over London this year. But hopefully I can come back another year. I hope that you all have been very helpful voting for the guys at French-Twinks who are nominated in the category best international porn star, that would make me very happy because they work so hard and are so nice and welcoming to everyone who support them that I think they deserve to win awards. No matter what they are winners in my eyes but I wish them the best of luck and hope someone from French Twinks win. I thank the Prowler Awards and Twisted XXX Media for the invite to the awards and apologies for not being able to attend. I got life as an award so I have plenty to celebrate here and people to see. But have a smashing cool evening to everyone going tomorrow 🙂 Maybe I`ll see you next year!

I have missed travelling but cancer has left me in a bit of a financial trauma. The money that I had saved up as a buffer for my travels over the years have been used for medication, hospital bills and transport for the last 6 months, so I will have to start saving up again before I can go anywhere. I have so many travel dreams. Asia, America and Australia and of course going to Nice and check out the French-Twinks studio to do a behind the scenes post about the guys who run the company and the lovely guys who work for them as a model. So I can`t wait to save up some money and continue my world tour again. I get really restless of staying at one place at the time too long…

I`m also trying to locate a new appartement but my budget is kind of tight now a days and its not much to choose from at the moment. I really want my cat to get the opportunity to go outside, so it has to be in a area that doesn`t have high traffic, but at the same time not to far away from public transport and a food shop. Living a bit on the country side doesn`t bother me since I have been pretty much living in the stables all my life growing up working with race horses. But hopefully the luck turns soon and the perfect dream home will be available.. 

Well that`s all for now, I`m off to see a friend to help him with some stuff in his home. I hope everyone will have a beautiful spring time and are blessed with great sunny and warm weather.

Best of Love From
Mrs Gummi Bear
x Smacky x

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