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Assisting on Michael Ross Design

June 19th, 2017 SmackyGirl

Wow! 
It has been a while since I have blogged here and I`m sorry about that. Some times I take a break to do other things that excite me. Such as assist on other peoples domains and pages. A long with being admin for the French-Twinks Studios official group and handling thousands of followers there I also assist in many other fields that I like to develop myself in. My friend Michael or Mischa as I call him is a successful fashion designer from Balkan. Considering his young age he has already released a full collection at the Balkan Art Festival 2017 and did pretty good for himself. He asked me to assist him on his page. I might not be a full fashion expert like him I`m more laid back and relaxed when it comes to what I wear. But I do know a thing or two on how to promote himself and get his brand out in the world. So this week I did a mini interview with him and here is what he answered. Please feel free to follow him. Links at the bottom of this interview.


Who is the guy behind Michael Ross Design?

When and why did you start creating your own fashion?
I’ve always been attached to art as such. I did lots of dancing , painting , drawing, theater etc. I couldn’t really put myself into one direction. Everything that was colorful was calling me to try it out. Having different mindset than 99% of the people in my country and especially ones here in south of Serbia made me think colorfully & different. My first fashion designs came up as costumes for ballroom dancing as one day my partner couldn’t sew perfect dress she imagined. I decided to do some sketches & offer her the help. It was actually working very well as I had no idea how to draw the proper female body sketch or any proportion. Since than I’ve been going on further with drawing the sketches , getting ideas for people like Lady Gaga , Madonna… until one day when I was 15 , & kinda wanted to have some good coat for myself. I tried lots of industrial clothing selling in famous ready to wear places but as I’m very short nothing was able to fit , long sleeves , too big etc. I decided to make one myself. I did sketch perfect coat for me , & looked for a help to sew. Nobody was there unfortunately ( or fortunately ) so I decided to go on myself. It’s there were no words to explain how long I’ve been working on it as I had basically no idea how to pattern, but I managed. I never wore it as it was unable to fit properly but it was so cute. High school actually made me who I`m today. I’ve finished interior design for my high schools education which is mix of art & architecture. From there I get the strong idea of lines & shapes. Everything I design is properly adjust to become a wearable architecture piece.

I wanna change the way people see ready to wear clothing.
I wanna show fun , intellectual , purpose serving pieces that people are going to love. Easy to maintain yet very fashionable & always in trend. I wanna make people happy wearing that special piece. Basically this.

How old were you when you made your first outfit?
I was 15 and I’ve been drawing fashion since early age.
It culminated once I had to offer my dance partner the dress ideas.

What inspires you to draw and create new fashion?
Lack of clothing that inspires & makes people happy to wear.
It’s not only the clothing. It’s your decision how people will perceive you.

What type of people do you want to dress up in your brand?
First of all I’m a person with no boundaries. Who ever feels like could be able I afford and have the pieces I design.
If I have to put the target group
It could vary from 16/26 & 26/36
People not being afraid to stand out amongst crowds.

You were recently in a big fashion event in Balkan. Tell what that was and how it went for you and your design in it.
I love BAFE ( Balkan Art Fashion Event ) as it connects me first of all with newcomer designers as I’m in the regional area of ex Yugoslavian countries. Seeing new faces and fresh ideas are priceless moments.
BAFE will always have special place in my heart as it’s the place where I showcased my first ever collection ( November 2016 ) and since than made me think of creating & creating more. Participation of young designers are of huge necessity as the ones already known are kinda stumbling sometimes. Wish there were more places to show your ideas. You know as they say, young mind – better ideas.

Do you only design clothes or do you make accessories as well?
Well I have plans & designs of accessories. But first things first. There will be accessories for sure.

Do you design for both gender? What creations can we expect to see you make?
I do design for bot sexes & endless number of genders ?? ( Professional deformation sorry ) With my clothing ether I’m designing to fit both sexes ether the differences are highly visible.
About creation well that’s kinda very hard question as I never know exactly in which direction will go the original idea I had. It’s not that I don’t know how to implement it or so on but I’m taking into consideration so many factors before final sketch. They change accordingly. What I can promise to myself and others is architectural pieces all the way. That’s who I’m, and will always represent the shape of you ( lol )

What other fashion designers or people on the planet inspire you?
Something that’s indeed really funny for me, I`m usually attracted to designs which are completely different than mine. I love to see good flattering red dress, so Valentino. I’ve always saw him as a huge inspiration.

Follow Michael Ross on Facebook for more
https://www.facebook.com/rossmdesign/

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Posted in Smacky, Interviews Tags: Fashion, Michael Ross Design, Balkan Art Festival 2017, Fashion Designers. SmackyGirl interviews Michael Ross, modern time fashion No Comments »

Fight for your Lives

May 16th, 2017 SmackyGirl

Tomorrow on the Norwegian National Day May 17th it will be 2 weeks since I learned I was cancer free.. So it is going to be an extra celebration for me. I am privileged to live in a top modern country with the best health care system in the world. But I hope that everyone in the world will be able to receive the same health treatment as we do. Everyone deserves that

Be a Norwegian
#
FightForYouLives

(Pictures are from Google showing the 17th of May Celebration in Oslo and Norway last year, the King and Queen and the rest of the royal family will stand on the balcony and wave to all kids who are walking in a parade with 121 schools with flags and music orchestra walking by. The same will happen all over Norway no matter if its on the country side or in a big city like where I live in Trondheim. I would love to add videos of tomorrows celebration but I have an adult content blog and out of respect of all the refugees children living in hiding and in fear of ISIS coming after them and the fact that it would not look good on an adult content blog I can not do that. But for those following me on Facebook you can see some of the kids parade from there. There are many schools going here in Trondheim too so I cannot tape it all.)

To all my fellow countrymen

Gratulerer med dagen!
We live in Paradise 

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Life is a gift

May 10th, 2017 SmackyGirl

It has been 1 week since I was told at the hospital that I have won the fight against cancer and that the cancer is gone in my body. My week has been one big smile since I learned that. The first person I texted right after finding it out was my mum, then my sister, then I got lazy and just posted the news for every one else on to my Facebook. I got a lot of congratulations and well done wishes from family and friends from near and far. It has been a wonderful week knowing that I have won over Cervical Cancer and I haven`t stopped smiling since.

A lot of stress have fallen of my shoulders but it hasn`t yet sunk in completely that I have beat the diseases that I have been struggling with for the past 6 months. And I know the fear of it returning and the disease will always be a part of me. I don`t think I am the same person any more. I will have to go back for controls every 3rd month the first year, my next CT scan is in already in June because they still want to keep an eye on my lymphatics where there was some spreading. But the tumor is gone and the doctor said she can`t see any traces of the disease in my body anymore. I am trying to turn my life around to the good by eating healthier and taking long walks, I have also joined the gym again. I used to be good at working out but my last few years my focus have been on trying to help my best friend out of the difficult things so I have put myself on the hold. I have used to work with horses, been a gymnastic and played football earlier and I miss being active again. I have not been so good at trying to quit smoking, it is not as easy for some of us as it is for others. But it is in my mind every day when I light one that this is a disgusting habit that kill people every day that I need to quit. I have to keep trying. But it has to be on my own will and effort. Being nagged on by doctors and nurses ain`t going to help. I just have to come to one day and say this is enough and just put it away for good.

My plan was to go to London to attend the Prowler Awards 11th of may with the guys, but I have changed my plans because someone in my family is planning a big party to celebrate that I have won over cancer and also a few of my friends wants me to come out and celebrate with them. So I am going to choose that over London this year. But hopefully I can come back another year. I hope that you all have been very helpful voting for the guys at French-Twinks who are nominated in the category best international porn star, that would make me very happy because they work so hard and are so nice and welcoming to everyone who support them that I think they deserve to win awards. No matter what they are winners in my eyes but I wish them the best of luck and hope someone from French Twinks win. I thank the Prowler Awards and Twisted XXX Media for the invite to the awards and apologies for not being able to attend. I got life as an award so I have plenty to celebrate here and people to see. But have a smashing cool evening to everyone going tomorrow 🙂 Maybe I`ll see you next year!

I have missed travelling but cancer has left me in a bit of a financial trauma. The money that I had saved up as a buffer for my travels over the years have been used for medication, hospital bills and transport for the last 6 months, so I will have to start saving up again before I can go anywhere. I have so many travel dreams. Asia, America and Australia and of course going to Nice and check out the French-Twinks studio to do a behind the scenes post about the guys who run the company and the lovely guys who work for them as a model. So I can`t wait to save up some money and continue my world tour again. I get really restless of staying at one place at the time too long…

I`m also trying to locate a new appartement but my budget is kind of tight now a days and its not much to choose from at the moment. I really want my cat to get the opportunity to go outside, so it has to be in a area that doesn`t have high traffic, but at the same time not to far away from public transport and a food shop. Living a bit on the country side doesn`t bother me since I have been pretty much living in the stables all my life growing up working with race horses. But hopefully the luck turns soon and the perfect dream home will be available.. 

Well that`s all for now, I`m off to see a friend to help him with some stuff in his home. I hope everyone will have a beautiful spring time and are blessed with great sunny and warm weather.

Best of Love From
Mrs Gummi Bear
x Smacky x

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Posted in Smacky Tags: travelling, gymnastic, football, cervical cancer, livmorhalskreft, Winning over cancer, French twinks Prowler porn awards 2017, Prowler Porn Awards vote, vant kampen mot kreften, travel No Comments »

Is the Cancer gone?

March 22nd, 2017 SmackyGirl

Just one more month of waiting until my tests at the hospital starts. The waiting has been the worst. I had to wait 3 months after I finished chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Because even though I am finished my treatment, it is still doing its job in my body. That is why I have to do all the waiting before they can begin the new test to see if it has had any positive effects.

 Also the menopause symptoms has been awful but I am starting to learn how to live with them now. But they have been so horrible that I have cut myself off from the entire world. My family, friends and online world. I just needed to figure out how I am going to live with these bothers. Googling it, it says that they can be there for about 2 till 3 years but some also will have them for life. I have medicine taking away the hot flashes. They were pretty awful, and it turned out I am allergic to Indivnia as they are called. Right now I am trying some alternate medicine I found in a health shop. They seem to be working better. But what they are not working so good on is the emotional, all the feelings and what is making my mood swings. I know I hurt my family and friends telling them to stay away and leave me alone to deal with this.. I can`t take on everyones worries and I have referred them to the care phone the cancer union have to take care of close family and friends of cancer victims. I understand that they also need to talk to someone about their worries. Seeing my mum struggle on Christmas broke my heart to pieces. I was always her little girl that never made any fuzz or cried as a baby, she told me I was the most wonderful baby in the world.. I know how scared she is, but I can just tell her this. Mum I`m not going anywhere. I`ll be fighting in silence like I always do.. I might not always be the most outspoken or social person in real or online when I know I should be telling my side of the story, but that is not me. I find pride in fighting everything with my silence. 

That is why I wanted to stay away from everyone, to not risk having a go at someone I care about. That would be the worst because I know they would forgive me knowing what I am going through. But I couldn`t forgive myself if I hurt someone I care about.

Normally women will go through the menopause gracefully and over time. After 4 weeks of Radiotherapy on the outside they finished it with 4 treatments on the inside which basically threw my into menopause in 1 day. Leaving me not working fully as a woman anymore. I can no longer have children and menopause is over me with full effect in 24 hours. I know a lot of my friends have tried to cheer me up and say relax you are only 35 and they are telling me I should be miles away from being in that stage in life. But sadly that is what happens when you have a laser burning inside of you down in the belly region. I have chosen to block these people because they don`t want to understand and I don`t want to hurt them. I hope they understand.

There is so many things I want to do. Travel and blog again like I used to do.. But my head is too busy worrying about if my health is better or worse since I started my treatment. They took me off the chemotherapy because my body couldn’t handle any more. But was it enough to kill the spreading on my lymphatics, or do they have a plan if it is still spreading.

So many questions.

But let’s hope the cancer has gone away. If not I’ll be fighting on.

I know I haven`t blogged in a while and I am sorry. I hope you understand why.

A little light in my life you might have seen me talk about on my social media if you follow me there. I got a cat, a little kitten named Oliver. He is the only right thing that has happened since I got sick. So even if I choose to be alone, I am not totally alone. I have my black knight in a cat form taking care of me.. He is a wonderful little star in my life.. Even if he crawls under the duvet at night and attacks my toes haha.

I can`t make a promise I will blog again soon. This was more or less forced because I know a lot of you are following this. I thank so many of you for the care and love you have shown me.. I even got requests to do interviews that made me happy. And I have saved the names of the guys you wish me to interview. But at the moment now I sadly can`t do any interviews. Also a little reminder. I only do work for French-Twinks at the moment. So if you have interview request it has to involve them. They have been so understanding and professional towards me in this time I decided to stick around them if they need me.. I only do interviews to have my own little business in here. I have always tried to be honest and say I don`t really watch any porn these guys are in. But over time knowing Dakota Shine so personal as I did, I always felt that these guys deserved to be looked at as real people and not just wank mags as many of you fans see them as. My interviews will never contains questions that are sexually related. I will always try to draw the real person out and make them look as dignified as I can do. I admire people who can have a job like that, because I could never have done it.. I have gotten to know a heck of a lot of nice guys over the time. So that you fans e-mail me asking me to interview porn stars warms my heart. It means I am aiming at the right sort of fans and readers I want to..

 I`ll be back when I feel like it..

Always yours

Mz Smacky 

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Goodbye Old Friend, Thank you for all the good times

February 27th, 2017 SmackyGirl

Today I am saying goodbye to a long term friend for many years and uncle to my son.. My heart is heavy and missing him dearly. We had so many plans for the future, I will have to do them without you. But in your name. You didn`t deserve to end your life like this.. You were the kindest and warmest person we knew.
You will be missed my old friend.

 

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Max Riviera

January 6th, 2017 SmackyGirl

I had the honor of interviewing the beautiful Max Riviera from French-Twinks. I had to admit I was a little curious how he met his handsome boyfriend. I also wanted to get to know Max better. We have been chatting a little previously on different chats and on Facebook, and he had such a nice and pretty smile, he seems like a very positive and happy outgoing human being, so I wanted to learn more about Max and share it with my readers.

In this interview you can also find out how you can follow him online and talk to him yourselves.

To find more about Max and other models working at the studio.
Click the banner to visit French-Twinks website, where you also can apply to become a model yourself if you want to.

How did you feel after you had your first porn shoot??
I felt a great admiration for the actors, I remember it was a scene with Matteo Lavigne and Baptiste Garcia and I was really surprised and happy about what we had been able to film and also what I saw. That it was not at all like I imagined it would be. It really is a craft, I did not think we were going to put 3 hours into shooting a scene which in the end will last maximum 25 mins! It’s really very interesting and I seen porn in another way that is more artistic than sexual.

How was it walking around a porn studio for the first time? What surprised you?
Being on a porn set for the first time is both fun but also awesome, I did not expect there to be such an emphasis on cleanliness and I think that’s also the benefit of FrenchTwinks’s clean & comfortable set was a bonus, while other productions are satisfied with a cellar or a staircase and that’s really what I like about FrenchTwinks!

Are you nervous before a shoot?
Yes I was very nervous but I could not show it to avoid scaring the actors so I put on a brave face and everything went very well in the end.

Tell me how it is working with French Twinks and their models?
It’s so simple it’s just wonderful, There is a very good atmosphere, good team spirit and if someone has to overcome an obstacle others are always there to help! It is really a big family and everyone welcomes the newcomers with open arms, it is an atmosphere that I wish every company has.

Which shoot did you like doing the most?
That’s a really hard question to answer… But I would say the Halloween scene because this is the first scene where we really were creative with the set design with cobwebs everywhere. I also very much like the filming of the pilot of Gay Sex Challenge we had many laughs while filming.

Do you have a limit? What fetishes doesn’t turn you on and what does?
I do not really have any limits when it comes to filming, but I refuse to film something that the actors do not want. It must remain in the respect and consent of the actors and their likes and dislikes.

French Twinks uses protection in all their shoots. Was that important for you to have a job like that?
For my part yes because I was always very conscious of the fact that the studios uses protection! So for me this is very important and necessary to work in good safe conditions and have peace of mind. Also when a studio takes care of its models you know in a way it cares about all its staff.

Would you shoot porn without using protection?
No I am not a fan of bareback I think it is playing with fire because we are never on a 100% of the HIV status of the actors, let alone other diseases, so I do not want to take the risk that an actor could be contaminated in front of my camera!

What else do you do at French-Twinks?
So as you already know I am the production assistant, I manage a camera during a shoot. I also take care of the shooting schedule, arranging models getting to and from shoots, as well as helping with the set, and I manage the social media networks for French Twinks as a community manager.

Tell me about who you are. How old you are and where do you come from?
So I’m 21 years old, and I was born in St Tropez, but I now live in Nice with my dear and tender partner and the studio’s owner Antoine Lebel.

Tell me about your boyfriend. How did you meet Antoine, was it love at first sight?
So we met in a nightclub in Nice and yes the love arrived at the first look we’ll say. I did not go out with any intention to find love, but we can not do anything when Cupid plants his arrow, I just cannot resist.

What do you like to do when you are not working?
When I am not working, I watch a lot of series like Games of Thrones, Once upon a time, Shameless, The Walking Dead, and iZombie. I also like a lot of fantastic movies like those of Tim Burton, and finally I am very interested in Syfy and Fantasy. I also like to spend a lot of time in front of a good dish of food with my friends and chatting until the end of the night. But I also love the time with my boyfriend we watch a lot of Thrillers and horror movie because when i am alone I’m too afraid so I have my superhero has me protecting me when I’m scared.

Are you bisexual or gay?
I am totally Gay

What are you passionate about?
As well as watching things on the TV, I love cinema, music and travel.
If you could make a shoot with anyone else in the world like a celebrity or something who would you like it to be. I would love to film a scene with one of our actors like Abel for example with Jordan Fox! It would be a scene so magic… I must suggest this to Antoine!

What is your favorite food?
Without hesitation I would have to say burgers! I’m a big fan of Hamburger and fast food in despair of Antoine’s tastes.

What music do you like?
I like a lot of the international artists like Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Sia, David Guetta … In short all the big stars that end up going to the awards.

And what movies and tv-series?
For movies I mainly like most blockbuster films and TV series as I mentioned would have to be Games of Thrones, Once upon a time, The Walking Dead… oh and you can add Scream!

When is your birthday?
September 21 and yes I am a little virgin 😉

Who was the last person you kissed?
Without suspense Antoine Lebel

Was he a good kisser?
Yes he is a great kisser

What makes you happy and what makes you upset?
To give pleasure and gifts to my relatives makes me happy and the Misfortune of the others makes me upset. Oh and the waiting also I am very impatient.

Do you work out and live a healthy life?
For my part yes but I think that few people can follow the pace of life that we take with Antoine, that is to say a lot of work and little play, and never enough time to fit everything in.

What is in your refrigerator right now?
What’s in the fridge now lol. Uh soda, Red Bull, some sauce and some vegetables… Yes I really have to go shopping…

Where did you go on a holiday?
So the last place I went was to China with Antoine in October and before that I went to Belgium, Germany, Italy, Spain and Australia on a school trip when I was 8-10 years old.

What were your plans for Christmas and what are your wishes?
For Christmas I like a meal with family and my wishes are that the year 2017 is even more amazing year than 2016!

Had you heard about SmackyGirl.net before this interview?
Yes through Antoine and thanks to your Twitter too.

How can people follow and speak with you online?
People can follow me on:

Twitter (@FtMaxriviera)
On Facebook (Max Riviera)
By e-mail (ft.maxriviera@gmail.com)

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Posted in Smacky, Interviews Tags: Matteo Lavigne, Max Riviera, Max Riviera gay porn star and model, Max Riviera French-Twinks, male porn actors, Jordan Fox, Twinks, SmackyGirl interviews Max Riviera, Antoine Lebel, gay porn actors, Baptiste Garcia, french male models, Abel Lacourt, french porn, twink No Comments »

New French-Twinks Group on Facebook: The English Version

January 3rd, 2017 SmackyGirl

You can now interact with the guys at French-Twinks and their fans in English.
I`ll be there to help you as an Admin. So if there is anything, feel free to ask for my help

Join the group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/964291640367623/

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Posted in Smacky Tags: Follow French Twinks online, English French-Twinks Studios, Antoine Lebel on Facebook, French-Twinks models on facebook, French Twinks Facebook No Comments »

Holiday`s Are Coming

December 22nd, 2016 SmackyGirl

I bet you are all busy flying about getting everything ready for Christmas. So no one got time to read this anyway. Haha. Anyway I just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. I am doing okey considering. I`m doing a lot better then many of the other patients who get the exact treatment as I do. But I am very strong physically and mentally. I`v been through a lot in my 34 years living. I always find a way if something is difficult. It`s not easy to bring Smacky down. The life that I have had has made me strong. And when it comes to what I am dealing with now I think that is an advantage. 

I am currently having chemotherapy ones a week and radiotherapy 5 days a week. I`m not feeling my greatest, I got to admit that. But I haven`t been sick so that`s good.

But I get it. Chemotherapy messes with your mental health. It makes me very emotional. But other than that I have been doing just fine. I`m on my second round with chemotherapy. They have warned me that things might change after 4 or 5. But I figured I just have to wait and see when I get there. Then deal with it then. 

(Completed 7 of 36 Radiotherapy treatments)

(What it looks like when I have radiotherapy. I lay there everyday for about 5 to 8 minutes. One part of the machine takes x-rays, and the other is where the radiotherapy is given. Its a red laser. I can`t feel it or see it while I am under it. I don`t feel it before after a few hours. Your skinn gets red glowing, irritated and I have to use a lot of lotion, and I`m not allowed to wear too much clothes. I also sometimes get very warm after radiotherapy. Like from the inside. Specially in the throat. Feels like a hearth burn.)

(What it looks like when I have chemotherapy, there are 3×1000 milliliters (ml) of saltwater, and later when I have finished them they bring another 1000 ml of saltwater pluss a red bag which is the chemotherapy 1000 ml. Its a bit painful to the arm when I get it. And you have to go to the bathroom every 15 minute. I feel drunk couple of days after getting it. And very emotional. This treatment takes about 3 to 6 hours)

But they have seen progress on the pictures they take every morning when I go to have my radiotherapy. So if it goes the right way and the tumor shrinks when I am finished on 2nd of February, I hope that I can get my operation quickly and then maybe some time begin to hope that I will be clear of the cancer. That`s my wish for Christmas.

And along with spending time with my family and my friends of course. We have many traditions that I love. I will try and post some pictures of our Norwegian Christmas later. We haven`t got any snow yet. So you can only imagine what crisis that is for Norwegians. It makes the main news if we don`t have a white Christmas. Some people say they won`t get into proper Christmas spirit without it. We are so used to having snow that it make debates if we don`t get it. Specially around Christmas. Norway is a quiet and peaceful country living in a bubble, modern and rich, not much really happens here. So yes, we do make a big deal out of not getting any snow for Christmas, tragically enough haha. Today I`m stressing about delivering Christmas presents around to my friends so I am glad its not snowing. 

Tomorrow I`m spending my day with the lady who lives next door to me. She has her boyfriend from Germany visiting her. You know I had German in High School but I can`t remember much really lol. I have never liked the language, I think its horrible and harsh. But I`ll give it a go for Udo. 

On Christmas Eve , I am spending my time with my family. We usually change between being at my mums and my sister every other year. So this year we are celebrating it at my sisters home. I got some party invites later this holiday that I might consider joining. 

To all my readers 

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday.

 

x Smacky x

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Posted in Smacky Tags: cervical cancer, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Living with cancer, livmorhalskreft, Ã¥ leve med kreft No Comments »

Keep on Fighting Cervical Cancer

December 7th, 2016 SmackyGirl

I`m not a happy Smacky at the moment. Very worried, stressed and scared. On the 14th of December I start chemotherapy and radiotherapy for five weeks. The operation I was hoping I would get has been put on hold because the tumor is too big to take out yet. It has grown into my left ovary and they need to give me radiotherapy to reduce the size of it. And I am getting chemotherapy because it has spread to my lymphatics. They are still categorizing me between stage 1 and slightly stage 2. So they still think chances are good.

I know I`m going to ruin Christmas, and the first thing I did was apologies to my mum. I know how hard she works every year to get everything perfect for Christmas. And I have been helping her bake and get things ready.

I am finishing Christmas shopping this weekend, and that is because I know I will be incapable of doing anything for the next 5 weeks. I will get radiotherapy five days a week, and chemotherapy one time a week at the hospital. I will be trying the best I can and if I feel like it to update my blog along the way but I can`t promise anything. And if I don`t answer any messages or comments I apologies and hope that you understand that I am not ignoring you or being ungrateful. I just don`t know how sick I am going to be. It is a pretty intense treatment I am going to be given. I know they give medicine for the sick feeling but it doesn`t always work specially when you get as much as I am going to be given. I hope it will be worth it, that the tumor will shrink and they can operate after new years.

Yesterday I went to the hospital to prepare for radiotherapy. They have drawn this all over my belly, it is so the laser knows were to beam during radiotherapy. They us a special penn. I have also finally got some medicine to stop my bleeding. That is the least fun part of this type of cancer. You can`t live a normal life or be close with anyone. And of course I miss that. Hopefully the pills will stop it.


(I`ve been tagged on)

I would like to express my love and gratitude to the enormous love, care, support and good luck messages so many have sent to me. I love you all. Keep me in your prayers. I`m having a hard time accepting the chemotherapy. I`m between giving up and fighting on. I know its going to be an awful month both for mind and body. And for my family too. I wouldn`t of managed this if my family and closest friends weren`t there to support me. Having someone that care about you and wants you to keep on fighting gives a good reason to do it. 

I will hopefully publish a interview with Max Rivera before I start my treatment. But after that I will need to take a break and concentrate on beating cancer. How life is going to be after all this I don`t know, maybe it will change me or maybe I will be coming back the same. The guys at French-Twinks will definitely have my support for life after the love and care they have shown me through this difficult time. So I have promised to come visit them in France when all this is over. 

It is good to have dreams and goal to look forward too and a motivation to get through this difficult time. 

Wish me well, I will see you soon again 🙂 

x Smacky x

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Posted in Smacky Tags: cervical cancer, Living with cervical cancer, Ã… leve med livmorhalskreft, livemorhalskreft, livmorkreft No Comments »

Tired of running in and out of the Hospital

December 1st, 2016 SmackyGirl

But I don`t get to be tired of running back and forward to the hospital. I have to get up at silly o`clock in the morning to do more tests. To survive this you can`t give up. But finally tomorrow I am finished as I have my MRI test at 7.55 am in the morning. Can`t say I am happy about having to go in that noisy machine again. I hate that thing.. Last week I had a test under narcosis. 

Sorry about the hair. I had just woke up. 

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It was alright, except for later in the evening when I was back home again and I felt the pain killers wearing off, and felt it really well that they had examined me. When you have Cervical Cancer, bleeding constantly is one of the main symptoms. But sometimes after the tests they have done it has made me bleed more than I usually do, and on top of that I can feel the tumor stinging and making my belly cramp a lot more every day. Its increasing more and more. While I am waiting for the test to be finished and the test results to come in. I can`t help but think that while I am waiting this can be spreading. It creates so much stress and anxiety just by waiting. They told me in October they thought the cancer was at an early stage. Considering I have gone since early summer with these symptoms and been in pain. I can`t help but stress a lot thinking this is spreading while I am waiting. But of course I understand that there are more humans out there who are sick and are waiting for their appointments too.. 

The other day I was checking my memories on Facebook when this popped up. It made me smile. 

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I think I have an guardian angel. 🙂

Over to some more positive news. I promised to show what I got in my jewelry calendar. Today I could open the first window. And this is what was in it. 

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After my MRI tomorrow. I am meting my little brother and I am taking him to a comedy show in Trondheim. I`m really looking forward to that. Me and Kim have always had a close relation. 

Also been hanging out with my neighbor a lot. She is a wonderful woman but she keeps giving me stuff. I feel very spoiled. These beauty products she gives me cost a lot of money. And she doesn`t accept a no when I said I can`t take that its too much. Lol I love Kirsten. 

So another thing happened this week. Which I hope you guys can help me with. Because it means a lot to me but even more to my friend.

My friend Michael Ross have entered a fashion designer contest. And he needs your likes to win it. So if you have time could you please enter this link and give him a like. It would make all his dreams come true winning this. And he has been working so hard. Me and Mischa have been good friends since the day I interviewed him for Staxus. Many guys at Staxus have given him a like too. Of course after I was nagging on them haha. But if you are a true Staxus fan and follower. Please give our boy a like and help him win Balkan Art Fashion Event 201615194504_1176176995800278_3976258444463541723_o

The more likes he gets, the bigger the chance that he is winning. 

https://www.facebook.com/bafebalkan/photos/a.1176169689134342.1073741987.697819573636025/1176176995800278/?type=3&theater

Interviewing models in the porn industry is for me a thing to do to kill time. raise the traffic to my blog and of course its a bonus when you met people with dreams and goals outside of what they are doing when I get to know them. 

Could you please click the link and give him a like?

Thank you if you could.

I wish you all a good evening 🙂 

x Smacky x

 PS: I got your hints to interview Max from French-Twinks. I`m working on it. And I will probably get it ready over the weekend. You know I do anything for my Antoine and his followers 🙂 I`m just a little slow at the moment and stressing about things. But I will make something for Max during the weekend and publish a interview with him as soon as he completes my questions. 🙂

 

 

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Posted in Smacky Tags: Living with cervical cancer, balkan art fashion event Michael Ross Design, Ross Design Serbia, Darko Simic No Comments »
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