Flere Norske byer mobiliserer nรฅ for รฅ redde og beskytte truede dyrearters rett til รฅ leve i Norsk natur. Det vil bli en markering i Trondheim den 12. januar ved Tordenskjold parken. Mรธt opp, รฅ kjemp for รฅ la ulvene fรฅ leve i Norsk natur. Og vis motstanderene at vi er mange tusen flere enn de er som bryr oss om dyrs rettsvern.
NOAH arrangerer en stor markering mot regjeringens stadig mer dyre- og naturfiendtlige rovdyrpolitikk lรธrdag 12. januar i Trondheim.
– Ulvesonen utgjรธr bare 5% av Norge. Utenfor denne sonen er det blitt nulltoleranse for ulvens eksistens. Nรฅr det nรฅ ogsรฅ รฅpnes for skyting av en hel familieflokk innenfor denne snevre sonen, er det et skandalรธst signal til verdenssamfunnet om at Norge ikke tar vern av truede dyr pรฅ alvor. ร skyte denne flokken, tjener intet annet formรฅl enn รฅ tilfredsstille de som รธnsker fรฆrrest mulig ulv i Norge. Det er ingen hjemmel i Bernkonvensjonen for รฅ redusere antallet av en kritisk truet art pรฅ grunnlag av at noen misliker arten.
Ulvebestanden er kritisk truet, og NOAH fortsetter kampen for rovdyrene i Norge og hรฅper at du stiller opp sammen med oss for รฅ kreve en bedre rovdyrpolitikk!
Hvor: Tordenskioldsparken
Tid: Lรธrdag 12.Januar
Det blir ogsรฅ markeringer i flere andre byer, info kommer fortlรธpende.
Det er helt essensielt nรฅ at ALLE vi som bryr oss om de ville dyrene STILLER opp nรฅ fรธrstkommende lรธrdag. Vi mรฅ vise politikerne at flertallet av den norske befolkningen faktisk รNSKER รฅ verne truede arter, ikke utrydde dem!
Vi i NOAH har en bรธnn til alle dere dyrevenner โ vรฆr sรฅ snill รฅ hjelpe oss, og ulvene i denne saken ved รฅ INVITERE dyrevenner dere kjenner, og รฅ spre arrangementet sรฅ godt vi kan, slik at det nรฅr ut til flest mulig, i HELE landet.
Tusen takk til alle dere engasjerte som stiller opp for dyrene โ vi sees pรฅ lรธrdag klokken 13:00!
Today over 5000 demonstrators against having wolfs in Norway traveled all the way to the capitol of Norway Oslo to protest against the governments choice to save more wolf than the arguing part wants to have living wild in Norway. They want 3 more wolves to be killed in order to save more household farm animals from being eaten by wolfs, when they are out in the wild during spring/summer time in Norwegian hills, fields, woods and mountains. The wolf will become an endangered animal and be listed on the red list in Norway, if these people who are against it gets what they want. Last year 30 wolves was shot and killed in Norway. A few years back they even hunted these animals down with a helicopter and shot them from the helicopter. This is animal cruelty and I can`t imagine what horror and stress they have put the animals through chasing it down and shooting them down from a helicopter. Help us stop this massacre! We can mobilize more than 5000 people who have a huge love and dedication towards helping animals in need.
LET THE NORWEGIAN WOLF LIVE
The wolf have lived in Europe for over 500.000 years at least. These creatures have just as much right to be here as we have. In the old days when the farms let their house hold animals out on summer fields and up in the mountains, they put out guards to watch for predators and thieves. This needs to be introduced again because we can`t forget to take care of the house hold pets either.. But we can`t just let the sheep out thinking your animal will be okey and fine on their own if they are inside a wolfs territory. With no fences or a Sheppard or any type security around a flock of pets, for a wolf or a pack of wolves it is going to be hard to resist the animals natural basic instincts, which is to find food when the food is standing right next to it unprotected. Without the farms taking security precautions over their flock or herd of house hold animals, it wont stand a chance against a hungry wolf. But that is not the wolves fault. It is us the humans moving to close to the wild life habitat, and serving the wolves fast food by letting our farm animals out in the wild.. Humans take up more and more space on this planet. We need to learn how to share it with wild life nature and let these animals live their natural life.
These wolfs living in Norway are not many, they are very few. And they can survive in maybe up to minus 20 to 40 Celsius degrees in the long Norwegian winters here, that can last for up to 8 to 9 months. Finding food can be so hard for wildlife. House hold animals cannot survive on their own out in the wild because they don`t know how to. That it is why its important not to abandon them to take care of themselves in the wild life when they are not taught how to survive in the wild. You would not leave your kids in the woods alone, so why would farms leave their pets alone in the same place unprotected. I definitely don`t want to be a part of supporting those who want to kill more wolfs in Norway. And I fight for animals rights and always will.
We humans are expanding and taking up more and more room on this planet every day. And it gets less and less space for wild life animals to live in there natural habitat using basic survival instincts. You humans get your food delivered warm from your local shop or from a drive in at MacDonald’s, or as a delivery from Domino`s, Coop and Walmart in less than one hour. And your bellies would be full. But these animals struggle everyday to find food while humans are consuming more and more meat and specially red meat everyday. We need to have less house hold pets and eat more plant based food.
Some animals that has been on endangered lists have already gone instinct around the world because humans haven`t done a good job protecting everyone and everything breathing and growing on this planet. The animal kingdom and the nature on this planet has fallen in the hands of the wrong people who only want to harm it or empty it for all creatures they don`t like to share it with.
I am totally against killing more wolves in Norway and I am not one of them walking that parade outside Stortinget today.. But I hope there are more who feel like me out there, who love all animals equally that are willing to fight for the wolves in Norway to be protected and left alone and to live…
((From NOAH`s Facebook Page))
NOAH works for the rights of all animals – including the endangered animal’s right to exist. The state decided in December 2018, for the first time to allow the shooting of critically endangered wolves in the wolf zone, and has taken into account the individual’s aversion to wolves weighing heavier than the population’s right to natural diversity according to section 112 of the Constitution, and Norway’s obligations to safeguard a viable wolf population after Berne Convention. The decision is based on the authorities setting a maximum target on the number of wolves in Norway, which means that the wolf will remain critically threatened on the Norwegian Red List. The decision undermines the protection of all endangered animals, and NOAH therefore has to go to court against the state. Litigation costs money, and we hope that anyone who is concerned about endangered animals’ protection and respect for nature will support NOAH in our attempt to save the wolves within the wolves zone – and increase the threatened animal protection.
(How Donate in Norwegian)
Hvis du vil hjelpe til รฅ redde den sterk trua ulvestammen i Norge og du stemme for at vi ogsรฅ skal ha et mangfold i den Norske naturen og ta vare pรฅ hver รฅ en unik skapning som vi dele vakre Norge sammen med, sรฅ kan du doner ved sende VIPPS til NOAH gift 17420″ Eller besรธk siden deres pรฅ Facebook ..
I have been having some mayor problems with my blog lately. Because WordPress decided to change the way you write posts with their latest update. So I came on and didn`t understand how to use it. I didn`t have a clue actually it was made so complicated. And there was no guidelines popping up or a welcome box or any clues how I could switch it back to the old one. I tried writing a bit with it but it was really difficult to maneuver. So this happened around Christmas right, and I couldn`t start bugging people for help when it happened. So I have been trying to work it out myself until today when I gave up. So Daniel at French-Twinks was my life saver today thank you for helping a Blondie.. And apologies to everyone for being not able to wish my readers a Merry Christmas.. Luckily today Daniel came to my rescue and helped me get the old version installed back again. So I could come on and wish everyone a Happy New Year at last. And thank you for the great year I have spent together with many others I have had fun and shared memorable moments with this year.
Wow I have really met some amazing people in 2018 and I have been on some adventures I will never forget. But my best moment of 2018 was experiencing France for the first time in my life. And spending those 4 days with some lovely guys working for a porn studio in France. It was so beautiful there and I got a royal treatment the whole way … Meeting the French-Twink`s Studio and the guys behind was a great experience. I have missed them since I came home actually..
I got someone teasing me the other day when I was on my Merry Christmas wishing round online, that these guys might be coming up to Norway soon. maybe next year.. dot dot… They asked me if I knew about any handsome guys in Norway ? do ,, I know I do? Of course I do… If this seems interesting and you want to work with one of Europe`s biggest gay porn studio`s, please do drop me an email; its SmackyGirl@live.no (you have to be 18+) or you can visit www.French-Twinks`s.com to check em out for yourself..
Christmas is over for me I think, but I have had a lovely time with my family and spent some time with my friends. I got a lot of good food made for me this Christmas, I and got a lot of nice presents for me and my cat Oliver too .. I want to say thank you to everyone for my presents I loved them all <3 And Oliver he loved some of his as well ๐ฎ fuzzy cat he is.
I am glad to still be healthy and cleared of my cancer and hope for still good health into the new year. But I need to step up on the quit smoking business. I will make it..
Now is just one thing left for me to do and that is to wish everyone a happy celebrating and to take care of each other. I can`t wait to see what 2019 will bring, and to see all the people I love again. I am making travel plans too. …
Happy New Year Everyone I`m getting old in one month btw :O fuck that XD
Along with being nominated 11 times at the CyberSocket awards 2018, the French-Twinks Studio`s is also nominated 6 times at the Pink X Gay Video Awards 2018. This award is brought to you by PinkTV. Which is a TV channel in France that broadcast all the featured studios, and also show only safe sex in all the programs they send on their tv-channel. You only have a few days left to vote now, so hurry up while you still can.
If you would like to vote for them they are nominated in the following categories:
Best New Cumer: William Lefort
Best Actor: Paul Delay
Best Top: Enzo Lemercier or Doryann Marguet
Best Director: Antoine Lebel
Best French Movie: Passions Estivales or Minets Sportifs or HotHell PornHorror Movie
Best Porn Star: Doryann Marguet
Its no secret that I love to travel and ever since I was little I have been on the move constantly around Norway and the world. Either with my family or on my own from when I was 10 years old, when my mum and dad let me go on my first flights on my own when I had to go to my dads every other weekend, who lived on the other side of Norway.. I can`t sit quiet for too long I get bored and restless of staying in one place for too long. I want to get out of the house and away from my computer and phone to explore the world and the people I share this planet with. But there is still so much of the world I have not got to see yet. I am missing most of the bigger continents like Asia, Australia and America which is on my top 3 list of places I one day would like to travel to and experience.. My last travel was to Nice in France this June and I enjoyed it very much. France was so beautiful and I loved the French people. I want to explore more of France in the future and also maybe one day visit Nice again.. My last travel was more of an business journey than just a pleasure holiday thou, but I love my job as a blogger and getting the chance to met and blog about unique people living and having different lifestyles and careers. I am really happy with helping the French studio I am with now by doing some advertisement after the magnificent time I spent with them this Summer. So at the moment I don`t see the need for advertising or meting any other studios. They have shown all the right qualities I appreciate in a porn studio to keep on wanting to advertising it.
But I have been thinking about where I want to travel next, just on a pure holiday for myself to relax and be thankful for still being here alive and breathing to still be able to travel the world. I have a few travel ideas and I want to start realizing one of them soon. Such as Jamaica.. But of course that costs a bit more than it does for me to travel within Europe so I still have some saving to do before I can get to some of these destinations. I am going on new journeys soon however and people in Norway/Oslo and England/Norwich should soon have a visit from the SmackyLady as Jay called me sometimes :p Loved people have a lot of names you know <3 That`s something we say here in Norway and it sounds better in my own language. Jay had a lot of lovely pet names on me and I on him too for that matter..
I have not been to England for 2 years. I was thinking of going down to put some flowers on Jays grave and have a chat with him by his grave. Then I was hoping there was going to be a Pam`s House around the time when I get down there. Because Jay would of wanted me to have fun every time I come to visit England not just sit and cry by his grave. He would of wanted me to go raving and he would of wanted to come too. I am looking forward to see my good old England again. It was my home for many years staying there and living with Jay. I miss it but I have had so much to do here at home with my health and all that, that I haven`t had the chance to come back sooner.
I have also promised someone else in the industry which I have known for a very long time too, to come to California one day. So its time to start thinking about going to America and the sunny state sometime soon. I am really excited to see California`s beautiful beaches, scene and nature. I also have a very cool and talented DJ friend down there it would be very cool to do a live interview of him while I`m there. But I`m not going to put my feet in the sea thou I am terrified of sharks.. :p
There has been some people wondering what I do on my blog.. I know I am doing my own thing at least. No one that I found was doing online interviews of gay porn actors when I started. Now I see a lot of them and some of them are using the exact same questions as I do. I can name a few I know too well that are directly copying my interviews or the questions and putting it on their own blogs. But I` m just not going to bother. For me its about having fun and meting great people who have given much of themselves in my interviews. Which I have made for fans only and not for the industry to recruit guys to their own studios. Some people in the industry visit my blog more than I do I noticed. And even if guys I have interviewed have been exclusive to their studios, many have still been messaged by others about working for their studio. I don`t like it but I can`t stop it. But my intentions have always been to provide cools stuff for the fans to read. Not for other studios to have a recruit party on my blog. I have made something great with this blog and I am proud of that. But I think some people might see me as a fan girl of porn considering some of the content that is on this blog. Or some have heard it due to vicious gossip. Well I have always tried to be very honest about one thing.
I don`t consume or watch porn at all.. Not gay, not straight, not lesbian or any other form of porn either haha. The closest I get to watching porn is Fifty Shades of Grey. Jay gave me all the books actually <3 He kept on asking whats going on every time I made a funny noise reading the first book one summer at his.. He was like “Are they being naughty now?” and I was giggling like a little girl when saying “yes” …
But that doesn`t stop me from being curious about the people who have this job and want to explore it.. Jay used to hate it when people called me that. Because I didn`t met him through porn, and he never saw me as anything but his wife, woman and best friend. I wasn`t even allowed to call him by his model name in private, because he said “you are my friend don`t you fucking dare ever call me that.” As many would like to think I knew him via porn at first, we didn`t start there. If people would ask me instead of believing rumors and others wish thinking that would of answered that question right away.
I remember Jay got so mad once at the two people who worked as producers for a porn site for calling me his fangirl along with many other things after threatening me and also deleted my first Facebook like page for my blog because I had been so stupid and trusted one of them as an admin on it. Jay wrote to the owners of that site an email as he was one of their biggest models. He was fucking furious and I had never seen him angry like that. Those really offended Jay that day he never forgave them or went back working for them. And I first knew what he did for me when I received an email later that same day from the owners of that company who was in the US. They were apologizing for their UK producers behavior against me saying they loved what I did on my blog, seeing all the traffic that came from SmackyGirl to their site. There was about 200-500 clicks a week to that site from SmackyGirl. I gave the affiliate account to Jay because I don`t want to earn money on SmackyGirl that way. But they were trilled and gave me a free membership and fired the other 2. But it was not only because of that thought, there was other problems that got them in mayor trouble. But that behavior was definitely part of that decision they made for firing them, and I still have that email I got from the owners of that company. It meant a lot to me for all the work I did to be heard because others in the industry started to pick up on what fast success SmackyGirl had with advertising and gave me a fair chance instead of bad mouthing me like that and hurting Jay at the same time.
I am so glad I have had a friend such as Jay in my life. Specially in the very beginning because I would of never have known this world without him. When he created and gave me my blog I knew nothing about it before it was finished. He sent me the link to SmackyGirl and said “Hey this is for you.” But I didn`t have much to blog about back then that would attract traffic to it. And being a pink blogger like many of my girl friends here in Norway do, talking about make-up and fashion stuff wasn`t my thing even though I read blogs like that myself daily. So I starting using the one name I had to put in as a keyword on here. Which was my friend who happened to be working as model in porn and who also did big success on that back then. Oh and he still does I notice often.
Before twitter and all that came back in 2010 when we met, he was one of the first porn stars to actually already have a like page on Facebook. And at the most there was about 5000 likes on there and later when he made my blog and I started writing the thousands of searches on his name alone lead straight to my blog. Today when social media has come for full to stay it is very little compared to how many followers and fans the guys out there working in porn have now of course. But back in the early days when he started this, that was a very good number to make. . Google has often since I started interviewing others in the same profession ranked me as number 1 on many searches of the model names I have tagged in my interview. And they still do on some actually even if more popular sites have stories or interviews about the same people as well. All I did in the beginning was writing about what him and I did in our personal life outside work, and it was all just fun and about the normal daily life stuff I did with him like just hanging out, going on adventures, concerts, dinner dates and parties. The fans loved it and I lived well on Dakota fans let alone and I still could they are many still. And new fans keep coming still. Now they are talking to me thou I know its not the same but I am glad I can be there as an comfort to them at least. Many fans are asking me questions about his passing which I can`t give them, and I am sorry but I hope you understand why. I don`t know them and I can`t give out info like that to just anyone.
The first 2000 original posts that was published on this blog has been deleted a very long time ago, so you who was not been with us from the beginning which many of Dakota Shine`s fans still are have never seen or will be able to read these posts again. What you have seen since is mostly interviews and posts for the industry and very little of the most personal posts me and Jay did the first 2 years of this blog and made success on. At most SmackyGirl has had over 80.000 montly visitors on this site and for a long period of time it was steady on over 50.000 visitors stopping by SmackyGirl minimum a month
But I knew my stats was going to drop drastically when I decided to remove the anime/yaoi I had on here before. Jay was the one who decided to put it on there, and I let him because he meant it would give me a lot of traffic and it really did. Hence that large number of monthly users. 70% of that was people just coming to watch Yaoi on SmackyGirl. So when I took it away it was a decision I took after he passed, because some of those things were very dodgy Japanese anime porn at its worst. And that is definitely not my thing at all.. But I took the chance and took it away and I haven`t regretted it since, even if my stats came crashing to the floor. At a time for 3 to 6 years maybe SmackyGirl was one of the biggest Yaoi streaming sites in the world. But there are still many people stopping by here now and my stats are going up actually everyday. So I keep on going… Keep on paddling.. Its not really about how much or little traffic I have to me. I just want to write. I don`t really care if the counter says 1 or 1000 a day..
But its not really a good idea to call me something I am not because then fans expect me to know stuff that only real fans would know such as about who is in the all different shoots and what they do in it. I wouldn`t know that because I haven`t watch it. I have been given a few free memberships to porn sites over time as thanks from the studios for my advertisement. But to be honest I have not used them to watch porn. Only to go pick the guys and some pictures I needed for my interviews with the models. The pictures I pick are usually the none x-rated ones. I like showing who the people behind the porn are in face and person. . There are better blogs out there to write about the porn than me that people should visit instead. I work with these guys very closely sometimes we have already established a friendship and I would go crazy watching them in porn because some of it it is too hard core for me. Even if I am totally okey with knowing that people have a kinky side they want to explore, I would not like seeing someone whip or do hardcore bondage on a guy I know and have personal connection with. I would be stressed, terrified and ask Jay why are they hurting my gays like that :O haha but I know everyone has different likes and tastes. And what is too hardcore for me is someone else pleasure. So I stay away from watching such things, and leave it to those who enjoy it instead and let you fantastic fans of the guys read my interviews and learn new things about their favorite models instead.
I think I was blushing a few times in France that gave it away and someone asked me if this was the most porn I have watched in my life when we were finished filming, and I said yes haha except for every time my friend “willingly forced” me to watch one of his new ones for confirmation if it was good or bad. haha But truth is I was sitting with a pillow in front of my eyes the whole time not watching at all, being embarrassed that I had to see my friend and his boyfriend naked doing porn. It is just not normal to see people I have known through thick and thin in the daily life in that situation. I rather not please it is just weird to me..
So I hope that answered some of the question and people stop believing in cruel gossip from sour old grapes. Specially since my best friend is dead and all its not nice to say that. He would be very upset if he saw someone say that about his Mrs Gummi Bear I was his world he loved me a lot enough to propose to me.. We were best friends through thick and thin. He had my back in everything. But my dear readers I am here and I am a very friendly person most of the time anyway, if someone hasn`t made a reason for me not to be. People can just email me and ask me anything they might wonder about anytime. My email is always been SmackyGirl@live.no
Except for having the flu at the moment I am feeling good considering the after effects I got since I had chemo. But its not going to stop me from doing what I love and that is travelling the world and meting people. And I can`t wait to start on my next journey home to Norwich for a little get away weekend. And then I guess its time to make a decision which destination I am going to explore first. I am split between US and Jamaica.. But I got plenty of time to think and decide before my saving pig is full enough of money to go to one of the two places just yet..
I just did a little jump in happiness when I discovered the latest news about the French-Twinks Studio`s being nominated in several categories and might win up to 11 Cybersocket awards.
Wow how cool is that! ๐
And not only did I get to know that. I also found out that the scene they made on a boat called Sea, Sex and Sun is nominated under the Best Scene category too. I was on board that boat as SmackyGirl was visiting Nice in June following Antoine Lebel in his work. It was such a great time. I feel like I am a little bit a part of that even though my contribution were very small. Haha, Yannick who is Antoine Lebel`s assistant gave me a smaller camera and told me to film whatever I wanted. But after trying a little bit with my shaky hands I returned it back safely to the professionals on the boat to do the filming instead. So my days as a porn producer was about 2 minutes but it was a great day on the boat and I learned a lot, and it was a holiday I will never forget. I made memories I will remember for life and smile every time I am thinking about how much fun I had with the guys. But it also feels fun to be a little bit a part of something that you have enjoyed so much watching that you nominated my gays. Thank you so much for that … <3
SmackyGirl on board a fancy boat in Nice this summer witnessing the making of Sea, Sex and Sun with the French-Twinks Studio`s
Antoine Lebel who is the director of French-Twinks Studio`s is also known for using condoms in all his productions. And he gets my respect for doing that. If that does not deserve to win an award on its own I don`t know what does. I don`t know how many studio`s I have seen and visited that promotes unsafe sex. It doesn`t need to continue in 2018 putting human lives in danger like that. That does not deserve to win awards in my opinion. Studios that does use protection however on models in this industry deserves way more credit and attention then they get. Keeping models safe in this line of work is something that should not go unnoticed, it should be in fact applauded in this industry.
And again, Antoine Lebel nominated as Best Director and Best Personality. I can sign under on that last one at least. I felt like a spoiled princess every day in his presence. He refused me to pay for anything myself while I was there. We went out on sightseeing one day though and I got to buy him one little drink after insisting a lot haha. But after that he was back to being a born gentlemen again. Even though I tried insisting every time we went out, he was like NOPE you are my guest end of that discussion ๐ How can you not adore this man?
But work wise what I learned about him, is that he is very professional in his job and in the ways he works and how he is around with his models and crew. He is clam and caring making sure his models are well all the time while they are working for the studio. I met the most generous and friendly man so dedicated to his job and his models. The French-Twinks Studio is like a family and that is how both him and the guys describe it as well.
Oh and I see Erwan Lamour has made it to be nominated as best new comer. I am so happy for you <3 I hope you fans can help me vote for him. He is the sweetest guy ever with a little naughty twist ๐ I spent 3 funny days with this guy and I am so glad he got nominated. Feel free also to read my latest interview with him here on SmackyGirl.
I wish Erwan Lamour and all the others Paul Delay , Doryann Marguet and Enzo Lemercier, but especially Antoine Lebel the best of luck in winning and congratulations with the nominations. You guys are incredible you so deserve to win.
Here are the links for where you can go vote for them and also a list over the categories they are nominated in.
French-Twinks are nominated 11 times
– Best Mobile Content Site: French Twinks
– Best Video Site: French Twinks
– Best European Site: French Twinks
– Best Niche Site: French Twinks
– Best Movie or Web Series of the Year: HotHell
– best scene: Sea, sex & sun with Paul Delay, Doryann Marguet and Erwan Lamour
– Best Pornstar: Enzo Lemercier
– Best New Comer: Erwan Lamour
– Best Director : Antoine Lebel
– Best Personality : Antoine Lebel
I bless myself for being so lucky to have survived Cervical Cancer 1 year and 5 months ago. It could of gone the wrong way as it sadly has to many women before me who has got this disease. Many of these are very young women who have passed away to this terrible disease. At the hospital where I go for my controls every 3rd month there is a poster on the wall in the hospital waiting room saying “Livet er det fineste”. Which means Life is the Finest. And it is quoted by a girl called Thea Steen who passed away to this disease and who was also a blogger talking about her fight against cancer. One of our tv channels TV2 made a documentary that followed her until the day she passed away in the hospital in 2016 .. It is a very strong documentary I recommend people watching it. Maybe people will understand how horrible this disease is and take action and frequently go test themselves.
Many girls and women don`t go and check themselves every 3rd month as recommended. You are in the danger zone if you are a girl with multiple unprotected sexual partners. Always use a condom. Many men carry the HPV virus, which can lead to Cervical cancer in women. Also smoking, having a bad lifestyle and eating unhealthy food are also a way you can get this type of cancer. This type of cancer has very often no symptoms and many will never notice anything at all before in later and the dangerous and deadly stages of this disease. You can go for many years not knowing you have it and you might be too late for a treatment if you don`t go check yourselves often enough.
I can say I am nearly cured from my cancer today. I still have some spreading in my throat lymphatics, that is why it is important that I go to my controls as well. My next control is on 9th of October. I also go for a CT scan ones a year. It used to be every 3rd month, but after the doctors were so satisfied with my results last year, they decided my next CT was a year a head of instead. So my next now is in January 2019. That comforts and relaxes me a lot knowing that when they have good news like that <3
Yet I don`t feel completely cured still either. Its painful waking up in the morning with stomach pains and getting through the whole day without having troubles learning how I am going to live a comfortable life with these aftereffects that came sneaking upon on me right after 2 months of Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy last year. I sadly now painfully feel some of the worst side effects you can get from having cancer treatment..
The first things I am noticing is my speaking. I have problems finding words and saying them. I struggle with concentrating if there is a large group talking. Or if someone has a longer story to tell. I fall out quickly. Or if someone goes out of the room while we are talking and comes back to talk about the same thing I have forgotten what we were even talking about.. I forget where I have put things, and I think I have lost my stuff all the time, and I spend so much time looking for my stuff confused around my house or at my mates houses. My friends have been very patient with me because they know I am struggling with keeping up at the moment. They help me a lot finding my money, my keys, phone and lighters and also with remembering things.. I forget things very fast and I too often now need to have some things explained to me more than once for me to keep up.
I have fainted 3 times this last year, had one last week again. And last one was so painful, because I landed on my face and woke up in a blood bath in my bathroom. Also fainted in my bathroom this May and also had one fainting last year in my kitchen where I landed badly on my foot and could not walk for days.
This last week I fainted again, and it seems like its always happening when I wake up in the morning. I feel intense pain in my belly and feel very ill right before it happens, and then I just collapse and after a while I don`t know how long I had been laying but I wake up understanding that I had just fainted again… And it takes a long time before I can get up from the floor. Luckily I have my cat Oliver who has been sitting next to me every time this has happened watching over me. Its a little bit scary when this happens, specially when you live on our own and no one can come help you. So I have been to the doctor last week. They took a heart test, blood samples and they also took other tests. I have not heard anything from my doctor yet. I was worried I was getting sick again …
(Me fainting on the bathroom floor again last week)
I also feel what chemo has done with my back. It is not very painful yet, a bit more like aching at the moment but it tears on me. I was taken off the Chemotherapy before it was fully completed because my bone marrow could not handle anymore and my blood platelet fell down too. So they stopped it before I needed a donor or bleed to death from the platelet collapsing. So its pure luck probably that I am still here alive and breathing to tell you the tale but I had a lot of good doctors both on and outside the hospital helping me that I could have not survived without.
I need to relax more then I used to. I find myself often falling a sleep in the middle of the day out of exhaustion. I can also no longer be close with anyone or have a boyfriend, because the radiotherapy has totally destroyed me. So I am waiting for an operation so they can open me up again. The Cervical cancer is a bit complicated for my simple English to explain to ya`ll.
But the radiotherapy and its lasers basically turns everything around in a woman and closes us when we no longer are productive. I am only 36 and the Radiotherapy got me into something called artificial menopause in less than 24 hours on the last 4 days of my treatment at the hospital. So you can say I am in the middle of the worst stage right now and it will keep going on at least a year or more I`v been told. And I have read that some can also have menopause symptoms all their life.. I hope that`s not going to be my case. I take estrogen medicine and it helps a lot on the hot flashes thank God for that, they are not nice to have at all.
But it does not help much on all the thoughts and feelings I have inside. I am feeling a lot on the emotional part lately. And that can be very tough some days and often I just want to be home alone. Thou it would be nice to have someone to talk and snuggle up with at night. If I was 90+ I would probably don`t do anything about it, but I think its a bit soon to cash in on my sex life just yet at 36…. I am waiting to get my operation so I have at least one less problem to stress about. But it tears on you that you can`t function fully as a woman. We are all human and have needs. Getting this disease is going to rearrange your whole life and keep making life difficult to live. Even though I have been told “You`re cured”
It doesn`t feel like that to me.. Too many days I still feel like shit
I have a lot of good friends that has been there for me the whole way, and I am so thankful for all the love and support they show me. Yet sometimes I sit home and cry my eyes out and wishing Jay was here with me to help me through this… But sometimes I think I get little hints, or like when something suddenly is happening around that I can connect to him. Like sometimes a song comes on the radio that means something to us, or I just happen to fall over some stuff that makes me sometimes wonder if he has been around watching over me the whole time? But it definitely feels very empty and lonely not having my closest friend to hold my hand when my days were most difficult.
It is important for me to share my story to help prevent more girls becoming sick. You don`t want this disease and it is going to be with you for the rest of your life… If you make it that is..
Earlier this week you saw me talk about Danny Burch and about him playing at The Creamfields festival in the UK on the 24th of August..
This gig is happening now TONIGHT. I bet Danny is jumping about in excitement. This is a massive moment for Danny Burch who is going to be #KeepingTheRaveAlive on the Creamfields tonight. He is in company at the Creamfields together with Armin Van Buuren, The Chainsmokers, Sigala and many more amazing artists… Danny Burch sent me the set he was going to play at the Creamfields because he was sad I could not make it to party with him tonight. So I have been raving it at my own and at my party at home playing it loud over and over he would be proud because people were dancing!! And Danny loves to see people dancing on his floor. I am going to try and get down for Halloween and go undercover as a zombie.. Halloween is a big thing in the UK and when its is a rave night in Norwich at Pam`s House. That`s where you want to be.. You will find you`re rave family there and have a good night.. And just I love to have another classic Pam`s House Halloween Party right now.
If you didn`t get a ticket to the Creamfields festival this is what you could of missed out on
And if you could not get enough of that here is part two of that Pam`s House rave night… <3 Can you see me and Jay in there? I hope not hahaha I can`t dance … But you`re at a rave party and Danny Burch expects people to dance so I try my best and eventually when I am warmed up I just move along to the beat haha .. And Jay was always like just shake you`re shush girl and have fun…
so I did…
Now turn up and play part 2 and shake ya fooking tooties
I just saw Dark Intensity post this yesterday on his Facebook page, and I instantly loved it. This is his first music video and I had no idea he could sing so well. Usually he remixes other famous artists and have a lot of success on that. But as said I have never heard him sing before now and its pretty good I want more of that now. Please check it out and other Dark Intensity remixes on Soundcloud or YouTube. Also you can find my interview I did with Dark Intensity a few years ago here on SmackyGirl.. You will find it in my interview list on the top of my blog.
Wow! Danny Burch is playing at Creamfields the 24th of August. Also playing with Danny at Creamfields the same day is, The Chainsmokers, Sigala, Armin Van Buuren and many more. I have met Danny many times and have partied with him at Pam`s and after Pams house and he is a great DJ. He always gives me big hugs whenever I run into him. Such a friendly and cool DJ.
If you are a sucker for rave and good tunes, go go go go see Danny play his own music either at Creamfields this August. Or if you are ever in Norwich come to one of the Pam`s House rave nights, and you might actually get a chance to see me too.. I have promised friends in the UK to come back and party soon. So I`ll be back at Pam`s House very soon hopefully
Danny is actually one of the best DJ`s I have heard, its really something going to one of his gigs.
Here are some more Danny Burch from earlier Pam`s House rave parties in Norwich and what you can expect when he comes on the stage…. It is a full house and packed with people at Pam`s in Norwich when it is his turn to play. He is usually the last one playing and the main DJ everyone comes to see. So several hundred people gather around the stage at UEA Norwich right before this guy comes on stage and applaud him like a God when he starts playing.. That`s because he is an excellent DJ.. And he digs me his Norwegian raver, so off course I will do a little sharing and caring once in a while for mine and Jays favorite DJ; Danny Burch. Because that is how I learned about this DJ. Jay knew him before me. But I am glad Jay introduced me to this man, because damn he can make good music…!
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January 9th, 2019 
SmackyGirl 
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